Love > Internet
Generations before us, relationships looked a lot differently. There were a lot less towels being thrown in. Now it seems like we see more white flags than white knuckles and elbow grease. I think it is pretty simple. My grandparents and most grandparents of those reading this, they just stayed married. Sure a lot of things came into play, but bottom line is, they just didn’t give up. I want a love like that, I think we all do.
The question is, how do we get it, or better yet how do we keep it? Hell if I know, but I am willing to guess. So what is the difference between now and then? An obvious answer, the Internet for one. The Internet allows for more insecurities, even just within ourselves. They start small then grow quick liek weeds. Being able to constantly compare ourselves to hundreds, thousands, millions of people. Our internal dialogue louder than our actual voice. If only I were prettier, I wish my hair was like hers. I wish my body was like hers. Look how many likes she has, look where she has been and wow, all the places she’s sure to go. I wanna go places.
Then there is the relationship comparison. They are sooooo cute together heart emoji. Look how romantic he is. Look at their cute house and their cute dog and their cute fucking baby. Yeah I want that, why don’t I have that. People think this shit while lying next to their significant other in bed. Let me tell you a NOT so secret, You are looking at a highlight reel of their relationship. Stop comparing your cutting room floor to all their love and action scenes. Everyone has problems. Everyone has insecurities, shouldn't we know by now that no one and no relationship is perfect? Besides every good relationship has struggle. It helps the relationships take root, that way when the storms come, we’ve got solid ground to hold onto.
I like to call this the grass is greener syndrome and yes, every generation has had to deal with it. However, our generation has options within 100 miles of our current location, 50 miles, ten miles, a hop skip and a jump. Do you want to turn on location accuracy? Well do ya? We have dating apps, and Instagram where tits and ass and abs are at our very fingertips. Mm yeah baby give it a double tap, you like that? Tinder where the next best thing is just one swipe away, or so we think.
Back in the day we had to work real hard for our pornographic images. We had to steal our dads magazines and hide them in our closets, under our mattresses. Don’t get me wrong, I think a little porn can be exciting, like anything in moderation. But when we flood ourselves with these images on a regular basis, whether we think they are doing something or not, they are. They say you are the company you keep. I think you are also what you see on your feed. Surround yourself with people and things that make you want to be the best version of yourself, make you laugh, or that make you and those you love feel good about themselves. If you don’t, then one day it might just be you and your screen.
So here we are, constantly comparing our bodies, our relationships, our lives to one another. Instead of people putting in the effort to communicate, and work on what bit of land they already have. They jump the fence for that greener pasture. People want it to be fast and easy, Comcast highspeed. But I can tell you from someone that still remembers dial-up, eventually your new patch of land will die too if you don’t learn to tend to it. Put your efforts into the tangible, the things that really matter, that person sleeping next to you.
I now have my first houseplant now at age 30. It was given to me by my boyfriend, the first good one of those in 30 years. They have a lot in common. They need water, sunshine, and room to grow. I am happy I have never feared getting my hands dirty. But to be honest, I have no clue what I am doing.
My plant is green, mostly with bits of yellow, it doesn’t bloom, but the roots are deep, it takes big drinks and reaches for the sun. My man, he is tall and strong, he looks like he’s cut straight from wood, carved out of stone. His eyes are blue, and his smile wide, and he’s got the warmest insides. I can tell you this, our plant, our love, is just what I want, just what I need; I will fight tooth and dirty nail to keep it.
So my advice to you out there. Love is like a full time job, don’t expect to get paid if you are not willing to work. Don’t compare yourself to anyone, especially anyone on the Internet. “Likes” mean nothing, absolutely nothing. No relationship is perfect, so stop thinking others are, and stop wishing yours was. Be willing to put your phone down and speak honestly in person, look your partner in the eyes. Share a milkshake with two straws. Go to the drive in, write each other love letters. Dance in the living room, love like grandparents do. Don’t let social media start and end your day. Hold one another’s hand, And remember to open the blinds and water your plant. That saying is true, you really do reap what you sow, and I am all about watching it grow.