Invisibility

If I could have a superpower, that’s what it would be. And I wouldn’t waste my invisibilty on something stupid like saving the world (like that dude from Heroes).

If I was invisible, I’d travel for free. I’d pass through Immigration and Customs, sit in an empty seat on a plane — stand if I have to. Mind you, it could be difficult if it was a long-haul flight and it was full. But then I could even scope out different planes for those with empty seats, particularly seats in first and business class, or if I had to, premium economy.

Once I got to my destination, I’d turn off the invisibility* after we landed. (*Not that I really know how this invisibility works. But, I don’t really care, this is just a fantasy.) I’d go to an expensive resort, stay in an empty suite.

Maybe I’d even work for the security services. What would be better than an invisible spy?!?

I’d be a fly on the wall; hear what people said about me. When I dropped someone as a friend, they wouldn’t even know why. I’d think, “yeah bitch, I heard what you said”.

I’d hang out in the room during a managers’ meeting and find out what those bastards were really saying.

I’d follow people around, listen in on all their conversations.

I’d walk into boardrooms and walk out with insider information. I’d look over Warren Buffett’s shoulder and invest in the same stocks.

I’d never pay for a movie again! Or a play. Or any cultural event. I’d go to every music concert there is.

Forget being a secret agent! I’d spend my life watching sports. I’d follow multiple teams all around the world. There wouldn’t be a day I wasn’t watching sports. In addition to free travel, I’d sneak into stadiums for free. The World Series. The All Star Game. The 3 Point contest. Final Four. Grand Slams. Rugby World Cup. Rugby Sevens. The Windies on tour. The Ashes. Man, what wouldn’t I watch? (Well, soccer and netball — anything but soccer and netball!)

I’ve thought about a few crimes I could commit while invisible but I think it’s probably best not to share them.

I’d pitch this as the premise of a tv show, if I knew how.

I’ve often wondered how invisibilty works. How is it that you’re invisible and so are your clothes? Are you just invisible or matterless too? Like why don’t people bump into you and go, “wtf was that”? Can’t they smell you? Do you leave your DNA behind? These are important things to know. Particularly if I’m going to be doing anything dodgy.

Oh well, enough about invisibility. I need to go fantasise about winning the lottery now.