Fear Of Goal Setting Part 3

What Do You Really Want?

Allow me to also say this, you will hear dozens of life coaches and business coaches wax prophetic about “putting your intentions out to the world”. Where they may be all well and good, there is NO action that can be worked in the mind of an individual that their heart has not first made peace with. In other words, you can’t take a person who has never been into “following through and tell them “tell the world you’re about to do something you never did. That will make you HAVE to do it…”; News flash: No It Doesn’t.

Stop emotionally attaching the achieving of your goals to the support of those who statistically can’t help you reach them. Out of 30 comments on your “Today is the day” post, there may be 2 people who have the resources you need to complete your goal. Those people can usually be identified by having detailed dialog pertaining to your specific goal and they will usually message you to offer you real help.

What really needs to occur is having a desire for real change, and the struggles that it may bring, instead of simply needing validation for appearing to want to change.

Let me ask a question: would you clean, paint, furnish and maintain a house you lived in even if you didn’t have anyone you wanted to invite over to visit it? (Let that question marinate for a second).

The way you answer this question may in fact dictate how you see goals being met. Most people will say verbally “I want to change for myself and nobody else”; but their actions dictate the exact opposite, and their follow through is always hitched to some external reason, where the stars would need to align perfectly for them to actually succeed at their goal. Let’s look at the actual definition of “goal”:

Goal (n) — The object of a person’s ambition or effort; an aim or desired result OR the destination of a journey.

By definition alone it’s personal. A result needs to be met AND it’s a journey. Most people approach their goals like a trip to the grocery store; expectations of getting what they want out of the trip are very high, not expecting to be disappointed because they ignore the variables or what may cause them to not get what they came for.

If we are honest (which up to this point is the goal), many times we catch a case of the “Can’t Do Its” or the ever present “I Don’t Wannas”. It’s actually just as common among “the driven” as it is among the crowd that needs a little more motivation to get moving. We, as human beings, are driven to comfort. We love being comfortable in any and everything that we do. The only time we will get uncomfortable is when there is something we REALLY want, as oppose to something someone told us we wanted. For example, I have seen families save nickels to quarters to put away for a down payment on a house. They ate Top Ramen for 2 years, clipped coupons, school shopped at Goodwill, and even got rid of certain amenities in their home because they had the bigger picture in sight.

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