Lessons from How to stop screwing yourself over | Mel Robbins | TEDxSF

Samiksha Saxena
Nov 1, 2016 · 3 min read

An attempt to motivate my late-20’s soul with some food for thought.

I recently came across this article ‘8 TED Talks all 20-something women should watch’ on the Business Insider site. Here’s the first talk and what you’ll read below are the lessons I have taken from it. This is more of a documentation of what quotes and learnings resonated with me and things I would want to remember.

Here’s a bit of a background by the article on the talk by Mel Robbins with the video.

A criminal lawyer and highly regarded relationship and life coach, Mel Robbins is known for her no-nonsense attitude and “tell it like it is” approach to help her clients accomplish goals. We guarantee that her thoughts on the F-bomb, a.k.a the word “fine,” will give you that necessary “kick in the butt” motivation to start living your life the way you want.



‘Just pick something you want. That’s the problem. You won’t pick.’

‘Getting what you want is simple but not easy.’

‘You can just walk in the footsteps of who has already done it — just use the science of drafting. Follow what everyone else has done, because somebody else is already doing it!’

‘Here’s the deal with saying that you’re fine: it’s actually genius. It implies everything is alright.’

‘Fine. What a flimsy and feeble word! Tell the truth. The bigger issue with fine is that you tell it to yourself. That’s why you’re not pushing yourself. It shows the areas that you have given up.’


‘We all have the inner snooze button. Every time you have an idea what do you do? Hit the snooze!’

‘In any area of life that you want to change, there’s one fact that you need to know. You are never going to feel like it. Ever.‘

‘Scientists call it the activation energy. That’s what they call the force required to get you to change from what you’re doing on autopilot to do something new.’


‘What’s interesting about turning an adult it that when you turn 18, nobody tells you that it’s now going to be your job to parent yourself. It’s your job to make yourself do thing that you don’t want to do so that you can be everything that you are supposed to be.’

‘You’ll have to FORCE yourself.’

‘Anything that breaks from your routine is going to require force. It’s the routine that is killing you.’

‘I think when you feel stuck and dissatisfied with your life, it’s a signal. It’s a signal that one of your most basic needs are not being met. Your need for exploration.’

‘The only what to help you is force yourself to get out of your head. Past your feelings. It’s about getting outside your comfort zone.’


‘If you don’t marry your idea with an action within 5-seconds, you pull the emergency brakes and kill the idea.’

‘Your problem isn’t ideas. Your problem is you don’t act on them. So go do it now’

Truths that mirrored my thinking:

  • Picking what we want is the most difficult because I feel it’s the first step to commitment and first step outside our comfort zone even if it is mentally.
  • I agree for a fact that I want to do so many things but doing them feels like a burden. Even the things that I love.
  • Rightly said, someone or the other is already doing what I am attempting to do. Which is what also demotivates me a bit.
  • It’s true, as adults, we are forced to do things for ourselves.
  • I feel the need for exploration is one of our basic needs but everybody avoids it because it needs time and effort.
  • My BIGGEST hurdle in life is the INNER SNOOZE button. It’s not that I am lazy, it’s just my fear of not doing things properly or worse, not getting the desired results.

Thank you so much for the lessons, Mel!

Samiksha Saxena

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