Here I Go Again

For now I’ll keep this short and simple. It has been a while since I blogged anything. And I didn’t expect myself to start doing it again. What changed my mind?

I want to be a better writer. I had the very tempting idea that if I were to write something and show it to the public, it had to be overly exquisite. But that shouldn’t be what writing is about (for me at least). I want to be honest with myself. I want to clearly articulate my thoughts rather than constantly asking the easy-way-out question “do you know what I mean” when I am lost looking for the right words to say. I feel that because I ask that question 10x a day, my use of vocabulary and the way I converse has decreased and I feel my insecurities surfacing, becoming more evident (i.e feeling timid, unintelligent, etc). I want feel optimistic and confident with the words that come out of my mouth.

I want to make myself vulnerable. And truly have that idgaf mindset. I think I closed myself and allowed my thoughts to linger in my brain, fearful of what others might say if I let a little slip out. Well, time to get over it and put myself out there (esp when privatizing my blogs or being hesitant posting something in social media). Idgaf.

I want to stop making excuses. It’s easy to make an excuse for anything. I have been telling myself that I’ll read more, write more, etc (not having a laptop was the perfect excuse for that) Just f*cking do it.

That’s it for now.

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