“Twitter is a Battlefield”

-2015 Culturally relevant Pat Benatar

I’ve never had an original thought in my life. I have no real opinions. Hell, even every word that I type is straight out of the Websters Dictionary.

Love too tweet? So does everyone except for some lucky remote Amazon tribes that only have dial up Internet.

It can be quite tricky to dive into something, try and recycle and joke or meme, and not ruffle any feathers.

That thing you like? It’s very good but also at the same time — the worst thing ever you stupid piece of shit.

Your stance on (insert social issue here)? It’s not strong enough, it’s too strong, or you’re just a clueless dolt.

It gets tough out there on the tweets.

Outside of racism, sexism, gun fucking, conspiracy theories, Dallas Cowboys, militant atheists, people calling a hot dog a sandwich, and Subway trying to pass off their products as real food most issues on Twitter can be rather divisive.

Those 2 people you follow and really like? They hate each other.

That person you thirst fave endlessly? They’re never going to follow back.

Your attempt to crowd source your lunch choice? The absolute last place anybody wants to eat.

Fucking hell.

Best rule of thumb (problematic term alert!) is to sit back and play the field and side with the person with more followers. Strength in numbers!

Don’t ask anybody’s opinions and don’t give yours.

Don’t make friends.

Don’t fall in love.

Don’t follow parody accounts.

Don’t RT content aggregators.

Just go log off and spend some quality time with your lab/husky mix.

Law and Order is on later. It’ll all be okay. Probably, maybe. I guess?

Please like me.