When will we stop judging depression and suicide?

I never thought I had it in me to feel so numb over the death of a celebrity. And here I am, feeling gutted ever since I read the news of Chester Bennington’s suicide. At first, I thought it was a hoax. One of the many that you come across ever so often on the internet. But this was no hoax. Chester had committed suicide on July 20th.
For those who don’t know, Chester Bennington was the lead vocalist of the extremely popular band Linkin Park. For some of us who were struggling with teen angst at the turn of the century, Linkin Park gave us a voice we identified with. Their lyrics resonated with us at so many levels — we listened to them during heartbreaks, after arguments with parents and friends, or even during road trips. Chester’s powerful voice was just the perfect remedy for our pain.
However, I’m not really here to write a memorial for Chester Bennington. I am here to talk about his suicide — as a person who lives with depression. I cannot speak for Chester because only he knew what he was going through. I’m writing because of all the comments some people are making over his death. There are so many comments about suicide being a “selfish choice” and that you pass on the grief to your family. That he was a pot-head, a drug addict. Do these people actually realize what they’re saying?
Despite so many celebrities coming out and talking about depression, and trying to increase awareness, a lot of people fail to understand that DEPRESSION IS AN ILLNESS. Just like cancer or AIDS is. It kills you in invisible ways and there’s no formulaic cure for it. There is no single cause as to why it happens and everyone I know with depression, has different reasons for it. Sometimes, there’s no reason for it.
Someone once commented, “You’ve got an amazing husband, you’ve got a lovely child, you earn well enough — your life is perfect. How can you have depression?” I’ve stopped answering that because when there is ‘no apparent reason’ for something, the common assumption is that you’re most likely faking it. It is easy to assume that when you’ve got everything going right for you, there is no way you can be unhappy. They forget Robin Williams — who made us all laugh and yet, was going through demons of his own. They forget Kurt Cobain, Chris Cornell, or even Christine Chubbuck. Some blame drugs and alcohol for it, some say they weren’t fighters — that they gave up too soon.
Truth is, sometimes the fight can be tiresome. Sometimes your mind doesn’t allow you to distinguish between happiness and pain. It just shuts down and the struggle to switch on is very real. There are people who have overcome depression with medical treatments, strong support system — there are an equal number who are unable to do it, despite having access to doctors and friends.
I’m not trying to justify suicide here. I’m just trying to ask people to be more respectful towards the dead — and try to be gentle with the living. Be more compassionate to someone who is going through depression. You wouldn’t say, “Oh he was too lazy to go to the doctor. If only he’d gone in time, he’d save his family the misery”, to a person who succumbed to cancer.
Death is inevitable, but suicide is preventable. Depression is real and it is out there. Let’s all try to be a little more understanding towards those who are finding it hard to go through their lives, for whatever reasons they may have.
And for heaven’s sake, let’s stop judging people who lost their battle with a mental illness. In Chester Bennington’s words,
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I’ve done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
And don’t resent me
And when you’re feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest