Two people.

Smruti Kishore
Aug 23, 2017 · 2 min read

Amma’s special filter coffee wakes me up every morning. The smell wafts into my room and arouses me from my deep slumber. The early morning breakfast cackle warms my heart. The normalcy of it. Appa reading his paper, patti making annoyed noises at yet another incident and the maid clanking her dishes as she starts her chores.

This sight has been the same in my mind for the last 25 years. It keeps me rooted. It keeps me grounded. It gives me a sense of belonging. I travel to be able to come back to this feeling. I travel knowing that when I return, my duvet and bed are waiting to be slept in. I travel knowing that amma’s coffee is waiting for me in the kitchen in my own purple cup.

I travel to create a new identity for myself. There are roads to be discovered and paths to be taken that wouldn’t have been possible with the familiar sights. Amma and appa let me go. They discover new places through me, learning stories about people around the world. I like being this different person when I travel.

I’m free. I have nothing holding me back. I don’t have to struggle to be who I am. The roads of the new city haven’t brought me up. The smells haven’t guided me around. The corner auntie doesn’t know my name and the filter coffee definitely doesn’t taste the same.

The new streets, lights and sounds all add to my personality, creating layers I didn’t thought existed. Everywhere I go, every place I see, I add on a new piece to me. The two people I am are the two people I’ve always wanted to be. The grounded me and the traveler in me are always at war, wanting to come back to the familiar sounds and faces while making memories with new streets and faces.

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