We spend years or even decades of our lives trying to get the attention and validation from others that we think we need. We’re always chasing the wind trying to grab on to that special someone who would care about us and finally make us feel like we matter.
We want someone to make us feel like we matter, as much as our parents made us feel like we mattered, when we were children. If, we were lucky enough to have those kinds of parents. We want our successes to mean something to someone, so those successes do matter, and so that by extension we will matter. But, the reality we often encounter is that nobody seems to care enough about our successes or maybe even about us.
Nobody seems to care enough about us — except us. And, that’s the key. That’s the pivot point. Once you find that person inside of you who cares about you so much that it’s enough, then it all flows. Then you begin to succeed, because success is no longer something someone else has that you need to get out of them. It’s yours to give to yourself. And, thats liberating. That’s freedom.
And, the clincher here is that once you pass this moment in life, when you can confer to yourself your own success, then you can meet someone who doesn’t come into your life to fill a gap, provide what’s missing or make your imagined minimally viable life come true. Instead, you finally find the you who can be with a life partner who adds to your life. Someone who makes it go beyond enough. And, isn’t that what we all really want anyways? Isn’t there something deeply profound in being enough and then having another that makes us feel even more than that?
Beautiful and brave article. Quite timely. Thanks for sharing.
P.S: yea. where the hell are you life partner?