TWO CHOICES, WHICH ONE DO I CHOOSE?

In life, if you notice we usually have two choices to choose from and how do I know which one to choose. Both the choices will have a completely different outcome and how do I know which one is going to make me happy. When you think deeply about this, I feel life is just too complicated. But on a lighter note, I guess this is where fate falls in place. I think fate takes a very important stand in everyone’s life. It’s all about the timings I guess, the present decision leads to the present state you are in. And destiny on the other hand cannot be determined by your present decision. That’s what makes it complicated and also we are responsible for most of the complications.

So we have all had difficult decisions to take and how do we know which one is the right one. Like what makes us decide on which one is the better decision. Most of us go with our gut instinct but is that how we can correctly decide on what is correct. Like I will give a few examples so that we are on the same page.

1.Which course to study or career to choose?

Usually, most of us followed the herd, don’t you think this needs to be addressed rather seriously. I think we need proper counselling to understand what suits our personality and what we are good at. This is a big turning point in our life. One wrong decision and I guess you may have to regret forever. There should be no pressure here and you should allow the individual to express himself, he may select what’s best for him under professional guidance.

2.Whether to do further studies or get a job?

After getting our degree, should I go for a job or study further. It’s a pretty tough decision to take. Going for the job immediately after a degree kind of makes sense because it exposes you to the working environment, the real thing. I guess it’s better to study further once you have been exposed so that the learning becomes more of applying into the real thing. You may understand the learning better because you know how to apply it.

3. Whether to get married or be single or which partner to select?

Here also most follow the herd. But what if marriage was never meant for you. See you only realise it after you are married. It’s what’s expected of you by societal norms, but maybe it was not the right time. This is a very big life-changing decision and it needs to be thought out properly. Here age makes a difference in decision making, we should be mature enough to take on this big decision. And somewhere if you feel marriage isn’t for you, then you should get support from your loved ones and not pressure. Regarding partner I guess it’s about adjusting and if they are not right for you , then again the decision whether to stay or leave. If it’s toxic I guess you need to leave, otherwise adjust because nobody is perfect.

4. Whether to have kids, single kid or no kids?

Here also you follow the herd, everyone has kids and we should too. See kids are a responsibility for life, and if you feel you can’t make this decision right now, then take your time and have kids when you are ready. Don’t fall under any pressure, it’s all life-changing decisions. See kids are everything for some people and for some they can’t handle. There is nothing wrong with whatever you decide.

These are few examples and there are so many more where the decision could be a life-changing experience.

But if you notice most of the decisions are not taken properly because of following the herd scenarios, societal pressure, parental pressure and age criteria.

I know the “What if ….?” will always be part of our lives forever. But I think it’s high time we have fewer “ what ifs…?” to deal with. It’s ok to make a decision which will make you happy.

We need to support the decision making correctly, especially the ones which will change someone’s life forever. Take professional help, talk to a few experienced people, listen to the person whose decision you are helping to take and do the right thing.

Next time you have a decision to make, say a small prayer, take time, talk to professionals, listen to your mind and heart and let fate do its thing, but with a hard tap from your end. Fate falls in the picture but maybe you can bend it a bit with the correct state of mind. ‘Destiny is in your hand as well, so your decisions matter.’ Any wrong decision taken,forgive yourself and take it as a learning.

Beautifully said

Fate always gives you two choices: the one you should take, and the one you do.

Gregory David Roberts

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Sneha Gurpur

I write on any matter that I connect with.If you would like to personally get in touch with me, you can mail me at gurpur.sneha@gmail.com