Life Principles
Ray Dalio‘s’ practical and intelligent approach to life inspired me to write out my Life and Work Principles. You can read about Ray here. I originally printed out his principles in 2011, taking them with me wherever I went. Moreover, I cemented my own principles and consistently modified them, especially after reading his recent book.
I will write two separate articles, detailing how I approach new challenges in life and work and how I have used these principles to deal with all kinds of situations I have encountered for the last 5 years. Although I am not perfect, I consistently refer to this hacked list of principles to guide my thoughts and behaviors.
Pain is my north star
When something in your gut tells you something is wrong, then it probably is. Pain often doesn’t manifest itself through your pain receptors. It sometimes exists at the boundaries of your conscious and subconscious and my most important insights and life changing decisions have been because I have been introspective enough to extract what was wrong with my life and implement those changes.
Early in my career, I was working with some of the smartest people I knew, was constantly being challenged, and was provided great opportunities to interact and learn from senior staff and business partners. I could not believe the luck I had experienced. It was not easy to spot what was missing in my life and took about a year of constant introspection to bring it to the surface. Although I didn’t know exactly what I wanted, I knew that a variety of experiences, deep learning, and great relationships is what makes me happy. So I dropped everything to only pick up the pieces at a later time.
Focus on second and third order consequences
Most of the time, the obvious consequences of a new encounter are negative. However, looking past those consequences to the second and third order consequences reveals a totally different picture. If those second and third order consequences line up with my passions and real world expectations, there is no way I will not tackle it.
The courage to look past the apparent negative consequences has helped me move to China and become proficient in Mandarin, learn to paraglide, and develop my sales skills.
Adversity reveals greatness
More often than not, my greatest improvements have come from adversity. I am not embarrassed by failure. Failure gives me something to learn. Calm or easy situations produce almost nothing for my evolution. Life is tough, so I embrace difficulties rather than shy away from them.
Crashing has happened more times than I can count. However combined with reflection and willingness to change, I have found these experiences to be the best turning points in my life. I can’t wait for my next “adversity”.
Learning never stops
Learning will keep me young. Motivation will keep me wise. The opposite of doing is being fickle with what you tackle in life. Thus, not only do I push through the adversity, I push until I am wise.
Being consistent at throwing freestyle tricks or adopting TDD as my main software development pattern took lots of persistence and practice. More than I knew I had inside of me.
Fucks should be given to a few things, not everything
Fucks are given everywhere. Trivialities, the desire to be accepted, and fears leads to too many fucks being given. I don’t worry about if the Green Bay Packers lost, what new Trump tweet is on the docket, or what TV show is trending. On the other hand, my fucks need to be dealt out. So family, my work, and my health is what receives most of my fucks. The simplicity keeps me happy.
Having mentors is the best investment I can make
Mentors come in many forms and opinions of how one should do things are endless. Many of the things I know and do are not because I thought of them out of thin air. They are because I modeled and tweaked the things I do and the way I think after someone I respected. They “walk the talk and talk the walk”. Moreover, they are someone I actually want to be like, thus not everyone deservers your attention. In one sense, a role model is the summation of their decisions and actions and learning from them is the best investment I can make in myself.
Avoid extremes in thinking
Many times in life, I find myself encountering a repeatable situation where an assertion is made that implies it is always the case. The intricacies of every situation I encounter are so deep that they are impossible to understand in full. Thus, I tend to reject statements and assertions that exist at the extremes and really look at the details of every situation. One common statement that I am sure you can relate to is “This sucks”. Does it really suck that bad?
Listen intently
I was recently on a trip and talking with a traveler who wasn’t fond of Americans. However, I listened intently to his bird watching stories and soon we became friends. Time and time again, by taking great interest in others stories, I have forged phenomenal relationships.
Be vulnerable
Being vulnerable to new ways of thinking and change will allow you to evolve faster than your peers. Also being emotionally vulnerable can bring about important personality changes that are otherwise extremely hard to change.
Give more than I take
This should be self explanatory but requires introspection and creativity to understand when and how you should be giving more.
Non profits, open source software projects, and just simply giving my time all play a part in giving back.
Outdoor adventure keeps me sane
Many times I use a flying or skiing trip to reset my head, allowing me to come back stronger than ever. #neverstopexploring
Giving to others keeps me happy
Whether it is my family, colleagues or students, there is nothing more that brings me joy than watching others improve or overcome challenges. If I can have a hand in that, then 👍
Let’s hear your life principles! Not only can they help guide your decisions but also provide points of reference for your future you. Part two is here.
