Hi! I am Snigdha, and I am a recovering yeller.

Before my first one was born, I stumbled upon the concept of gentle parenting, and it brought about a whole new perspective on what I think about everything. I, of course, had a furbaby, but no matter what everyone tells you, hooman babies are way different and will test you in a hundred more ways.

My first experience as a caregiver came from taking care of my dog, and don’t get me wrong, he tested my patience every step of the way. But I was introduced to the concept of unconditional love when I brought him home.

How did I start yelling?

Puppies are a handful. They can be playful, adorable, and just amazing, but they can also be rambunctious, destructive, and frankly impossible to control. So when he would be up to no good or chewing away my bathroom slippers, my first reaction would be to yell or even scream at him. This would shock him into a quick freeze, and I would get a precious second or two to remedy the situation and gain back control.

But gradually, this method started losing its efficacy as he started getting used to my yelling. He would simply ignore my screams.

So, what did I do?

I started yelling louder and louder. It would work once or twice, and then I would have to yell louder to get his attention. Clearly, it wasn’t working.

Yelling Didn’t Work. Now What?

I started reevaluating ways in which I could be more effective in getting heard by my puppy. I quickly realised that I had to approach him right within his comfort zone. I started kneeling down and talking to him in various tones that would appeal to him.

It didn’t work miraculously, but I could see something changing within me.

I was less frustrated, less angry, and, frankly, a lot less hoarse. My puppy started becoming interested in what I was saying and effectively started running to me instead of away from me. Now that he is five years old and a lot calmer, he is affectionate, cuddly, and just an all-around darling.

Still a recovering yeller, remember?

I would love to say here, Oh, and then I never yelled again. But nope, that doesn’t happen.

In some cases, my first instinct is still to yell at my dog. And it is the same with my kids now. When things are going well, I am able to take a moment and not give in to that impulse. However, when I am at my utmost capacity, having a tough day, or just being a little careless, I yell.

So, am I a bad person and parent?

No, absolutely not! I am a recovering yeller. I always felt bad after yelling or screaming at my pup, and I still feel that way. The one big difference now is that I correct myself the moment I realize what I just did.

I apologize for yelling without blaming the other being. I tell them how I was feeling overwhelmed and reacted badly. I shouldn’t have. And how it must have made them feel and that it was not okay to do that.

I am surprised at how understanding kids and dogs are.

I hug them, I calm my voice down, and I talk. Sometimes, that is all it takes.

Yes, I am a recovering yeller. But I am working on it. I am finding a way through it. And I am working on setting a better example for my little peas.