The Best Thing that Ever Happened to Me! 

I was 25 years old. Excited to be a wife and a mother. I had just graduated from college, just gotten married and just found out I was pregnant. I was glowing with excitement about what my future held for me and my family. I felt I was on the path to my happily ever after.

UNTIL…

The best thing that ever happened to me, happened……….

At 7 months pregnant, carpooling to work with my husband listening to War of Roses (our tradition). It’s a concept many of you might have heard on the radio stations, have a lady pretend to be a flower lady to see if your significant other is cheating by finding out who they send the flowers to. Any who, we were driving on the freeway, listening to a segment, when my husband turns to me and says “I can’t do this anymore”

I laughed and asked “do what?” To make a long story short, he had decided he couldn’t be married and preferred to be with another women who had three children.

There I was 7 months pregnant, with my life, and heart shattering. My family was destroyed before it even got started! My son would be born into a split home! Not what I pictured and certainly not what I wanted.

My white picket fence was just hit by a BULLDOZER for a new construction plan.

I was devastated, heartbroken to say the least.

I moved out, back in with my parents. I couldn’t afford to live on my own. I was preparing for maternity leave and could barely figure out the finances for that.

I tried to fight for my marriage. For my family, until I realized, you can’t make someone want something as bad as you.

I was about to become a single mother, I was stressed, depressed and anxious! I was living with my parents! Very thankful for their support but I was certainly was not where I wanted to be nor where I pictured myself to be. I was supposed to be an “adult” (whatever that means) not go crying back to mom and dad.

Yet, having my life and fairytale story turned upside down, was THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME!

I was given the opprotunity to:
Grow
I had to personally make a decision to learn something from all of this. What did I want to take away? (Besides his money and material items.. JK. I truly didn’t take a thing, except a suitcase!) This was the first step for me of growing. Instead of throwing myself a pity party. I decided to grow. I decided to get out of my comfort zone! I decided I had more control of the situation then I was led to believe. I decided, my child will have a relationship with his father and I would be an “adult” about the situation. I literally had to ask myself “How are you handling this? And how would you like to handle this? I took action to achieve my ideal self!

I was given the opprotunity to

Love Myself
I know such a cliché, it is said over and over “you have to love yourself before you can love someone else” Blah Blah Blah! I accepted this challenge. I thought how? What actions show that I love myself? After all I thought I already did! I started with spending time with myself. Nature adventures, travelled (where I could afford) took myself to dinner, bought myself flowers. I said kind words to myself. I started exercising. Once I started putting in the effort I realized I had been settling in every relationship. I decided to give celibacy a try! No more random hook ups! I didn’t want to be used for sex anymore. I decided to hang out with my friends more. Attend church more often andvread the bible. I started to love myself which set new standards for the next man to walk into my life!

I was given the opprotunity to

Become Independent
Of course at 25 I thought I was pretty independent with making adult life decisions (Having a baby, a real job, getting married etc) I was proud of myself. Until I realized just how DEPENDANT I was! I was dependant on my spouse to make me happy! (Happiness is our own responsibility) I depended on my spouse to provide for me while I took time off work. I depended on my parents to save me after everything fell to pieces. I was too young to be an “adult”! Getting divorced now provided me with an opprotunity (more like pushed me) to be independant. Something I didn’t think I needed before. There were still areas that I needed to grow independently, primarily financially. How was I going to support my child and I? I was not prepared. From double income to single with a baby on the way! I met with a financial counselor! I had to get things straight, I had new goals. How was I going to make it? I had to get my ish* together!

I was given the opprotunity to

BE A SINGLE MOTHER

I don’t think anyone wakes up and says “hmmm, I want to get pregnant and be a single mom.” 
First I have a new found appreciation for single parents out there! It is TOUGH! But the rewards outweigh any struggle. I truly enjoy it just being my son and I. There is a certain bond being created. He’s my young man! My fondest memory, is the two of us hanging out on the beach for HOURS! Just him and I. I laid out our towels, brought some snacks, plenty of water and we just chilled!

Many of our experiences, I don’t think I would have had the opportunity to gain had I still been married. I would have been too occupied with wifey duties (or wondering where and who my husband was with) to put all my energy into being a good mom. Perhaps one day I will need to learrn how to handle both, but for now I get to focus on being a great mother and creating a special bond between my son and I. Being a single mother changed my lifestyle. I get to focus on creating healthy habits! From being the women who had 7 types of cheeses in the fridge and a Costco size of Nutella, I’m now more cautious about the nutriton my son and I recieve. I never imagined I would be a single mother, but through all the laughs and tears, it truly has been the best thing that has ever happened to me!💜