EGO
In all Dictionaries, ‘Ego’ generally means the ‘I’ or ‘Self’ of any person. Everyone, be it a child, or a youth, or an old man, has ego. The Upanishads say, “Brahma, the Absolute, is nothing but the ‘self’.” Let your ego be insulted, ignored and hurt; and then feel how sorely you get emotional. Very few persons are there who can overcome their emotions at the time when their ‘ego’ is hurt, though Oscar Wilde had reasons to overcome his emotions, “What is done is done. What is past is past… It is only shallow people who require years to get rid of an emotion. A man who is master of himself can end a sorrow as easily as he can invent a pleasure. I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.” But the majority is overpowered by emotions when their ‘ego’ is hurt.
I can’t help remembering an incident that took place about fifty years ago when I might have been twelve years old, and in 8th class. It was the month of September. This month is not very pleasant in the eastern U.P. It was hot. We students went to school on foot covering about eight kilometers’ distance daily. The group I was in comprised of about ten students of different ages. One day, it so happened that while we students were on our way to college, we saw a young man wearing a sweater over his dirty white shirt. He was going somewhere (may be, to his father-in-law’s home) and his wife, shabbily dressed, was trudging after him. Some of our senior students mockingly asked that passer-by to take off his sweater as it was not the suitable dress for a month like September. The man was hesitating to take off his sweater, but our senior students compelled him to take off the sweater. He had to give in before us finally. That poor man took off his sweater. Even today I well remember how emotionally and badly I was hurt to see his torn shirt that was hidden under his shabby sweater. I don’t know whether his ego was hurt or not, but I have had the reminiscence of that sight all these years which made an invisible scar in my mind, though I was hardly twelve years old.
Today, I think that these are the people without whose labour nothing worthwhile can be done elegantly and successfully. However advanced we may be, however mechanised our work may be, our progress in every field of life is crippled and incomplete without the contribution of these people who are known as ordinary people. These are the people who are not destined for a good living. They enjoy themselves in a very ordinary way. They have no mention in annals of history. They are unknown and uncelebrated. But the work done by them is always useful for all. But everywhere, their ego is hurt. The great poet Thomas Gray said: “Let Ambition not mock their useful toil…” Oscar Wilde said: “The real tragedy of the poor is that they can afford nothing but self-denial. Beautiful sins, like beautiful things, are the privilege of the rich.’
A hurt ego is very dangerous. In the past, and also in the present, many murders were and have been committed only because some or the other one’s ego was and is hurt. Some youths are known to have become dacoits or murderers or terrorists, as they could not tolerate to see their parents’ ego being insulted and hurt. They themselves felt hurt and got determined to take revenge. There might have been many other reasons to fight battles and wars, but the role of one’s ego can’t be ignored.
The ego of Duryodhan was hurt and the result was ‘Mahabharat Yuddh’. The ego of Hitler was hurt and the result was World War II, which was very disastrous. Russia paid the heaviest price of any nation for Adolf Hitlor’s aggression, losing some 26 million soldiers and citizens. Around 6 million Jews were murdered during World War II, which cost some 50 million lives in total. By comparison, some 10 million people perished in World War I, the previous most bloody conflict in Europe. The invasion of Vietnam and much later of Iraq was the result, though not only, of the arrogance of the President of United States, and the hurt his ego suffered.
Most of the problems and complications are there only because most of us are adamant to satisfy our ego. Smt Indira Gandhi was a radical, a go-getter. The country has never seen equal distribution of wealth after her. But in the flow of ‘I, me, myself’ (ego), she lost the vision. She was too tough for her own good.
When we become ego-centric, we become boastful and selfish persons. We judge everything from our personal interest. We are egoists. Then we find our ‘self’ to be the center of all things. If our self-interest is ignored, we get either enraged or stop taking any interest in any type of work. Altruism and benevolence seem to be worthless if our self-interest is not involved. Sometimes, being self-centered and selfish, we have to suffer beyond expectations. In the verse play, “Urvashi”, written by Maithili Sharan Gupt, Kaikeyi says with remorse: “I valued egoism too much and ignored altruism altogether. That’s why, there are hurdles after hurdles in the way.” Keeping in view that ‘Brahman, the Absolute, is nothing but the self,’ we must value and honour our ‘ego’, but at the same time, we should not dishonour others’ ego.
Some of us who are economically, educationally, politically and spiritually strong, jeer the people who are weak in every field of life, though these are the people without whose labour and contribution our success stands nowhere. But how pathetic and unjust it is! These are subservient people who live under subjugation. Those who are ‘haves’ insult and hurt the ego of the people who are ‘have-nots’. I am of the opinion that we should not humiliate anyone for his subjugated position nor should we take advantage of his helplessness.
Egoism leads us to arrogance, boastfulness and selfishness. We become ego-centric valuing everything only in reference to our personal interest. We become self-centered beyond the limit avoiding everyone and everything that brings no satisfaction and joy to our ‘Self’. Some such persons become suspicious and jealous of the people whom they think to be obstructers in the way of their self-interest. Sometimes they take a very drastic and tough step to satisfy their ego. Such persons have always been there in all ages.
Give enough importance to your ego, which is piety. Simultaneously, do not hurt others’ ego. Only then we are free from all fear. The Isha Upanishad says: “The man who sees all beings in the self and the self in all beings is free from fear.” We have to become aware of the light within to know God, to become God-like. Yajnavalkya, a sage & philosopher in Vedic India, said “the self has its own light when the sun has set, when the moon has set, when the fire is put out.” To recognise one’s ego is not child’s play. Lao-Tzu, China’s most revered philosopher & sage, said in his work ‘Tao Te Ching’: “Effective leadership comes from self-awareness and self-conquest. He who knows other men is discerning, he who knows himself is intelligent. He who overcomes others is strong, he who overcomes himself is mighty.” American stage director & actor, Alfred Lunt, said: “There is nothing I need so much as nourishment for my self-esteem.”
I conclude the essay with the words of Lord Sri Ram in Yoga Vashishtha: “I am free from the dirt of duality. All this is Brahman (Self). I do not desire Heaven, nor do I desire hell. I remain established in the ‘Self’.”
