The Monday Movement- “Bad”
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference.
“Bad” is a song about addiction. Like the above “Serenity Prayer” mentions, addiction is a struggle involving change, acceptance, trust, faith, and perhaps most importantly SURRENDER. It is well known that this song is about a dear friend of Bono’s and his heroin addiction.
When I listen to “bad” I think about all of the difficulties one goes through watching a loved one entrenched in their addiction. From the friend or family member’s point of view, the helplessness and hopelessness we see on a daily basis is heartbreaking. It is paralyzing. As somebody who cares about them, you want nothing more than to show them the way; however, it is THEIR way that they must find. The sad thing is, many never find it. I love Bono’s expression of love in this line as he talks about his desire to bring peace to this person; “If I could through myself set your spirit free, I’d lead your heart away. See you break, break away into the light and to the day.” You want to take away those feelings of despair and sadness from your loved one because you can see it in their face every day. And if you could, even though you are living with your own sadness, you would welcome taking on theirs if it meant they would get better.
Bono uses a variety of words in the second to last verse that are synonymous with addiction; desperation, dislocation, separation, condemnation, revelation, in temptation, isolation, desolation….a person who is struggling with an addiction is experiencing these on a daily basis. They do not feel worthy, of friendship, or of love. They do not see their own value, how skilled they truly are at their job, or recognize the positive characteristics within themselves. Life serves as a constant reminder to them about what they are lacking, or what they aren’t enough of (usually because somebody communicated this message to them over an extended period of time.) Somebody struggling with an addiction is constantly trying to live up to the expectations of others…..because they do not have any expectations for themselves. This results in feelings of depression and everything listed above that Bono describes. Whether you are experiencing this yourself, or watching someone go through this, there is only one thing that allows the situation to get better in addition to support from friends, families, and qualified professionals. This is something that is done on your own time in your own unique way; you’ve got to let it go, you’ve got to surrender.
The Serenity Prayer has always been my favorite prayer ever since I was young. If you could read between the lines, this prayer has always had a special place in my family. The words are simple, but powerful, as they capture the antidote for addiction. Acceptance…..that you are not perfect, that you cannot control every situation, that you do and will continue to make mistakes, that you were wronged, that you were hurt. Surrender……your will over to the will of God as you understand him. Letting go…..of control and realizing that not everything is within yours. Through my own experiences I have noticed a relief that comes about when practicing these principles. Because quite honestly, you cannot control the actions and decisions of other people, but you can control how you react to them. There is so much truth to the less is more approach/philosophy when it comes to many situations in life. Step back for a moment, and ask yourself if you are trying to control a person or a situation which you have none over. Are you trying to force somebody to be someone they are not because that is how you see them or want them to be? Or are you trying to force a friendship or a relationship because you want it to work so bad? Step back, let it go, and try to live being okay with wherever the chips fall. Erase the scenario you have envisioned in your mind, and remind yourself, “there are other possibilities.” Perhaps things are not happening to your liking or are not happening on your timetable when you would like for them to materialize. Does that mean that they will never happen? Or does it mean that they might happen in another fashion that you haven’t thought about yet. Maybe they are happening on someone else’s time, according to someone else’s plan, just not yours. Don’t be discouraged by the doors that are closing throughout the day, be encouraged by the ones that are opening. Whichever one you look for, you will find.
If I could, yes I would …If I could, I would….let it go.
Below is arguably the best version of “Bad” at the Live Aid concert from 1985. Bono’s performance here is symbolic of this song in a way as he literally jumps off stage and saves a woman who is being trampled in the crowd.
