Leave and delay e-mails decoded

I’ve spent most of my short career selling and managing sales teams. As a leader of a sales team, I would start my day with routine morning meetings. While heading towards my office, a barrage of leave e-mails would hit my inbox. Each one of the reasons stated were highly plausible. Sharing the frequent reasons along with how I read these. Obviously, most of my interpretations are questionable.

Category 1: 5 — 30 min delay

“The bloody alarm didn’t go off…”

“Stuck in traffic…”

“Car broke down…”

“No hot water at home due to power cut…”

“Missed the bus / metro…”

How I read the mail:

“Nature’s call was unexpectedly delayed…”

“Hate the f**king morning meetings. Had to pull myself out of bed to make it slight delay…”

Category 2: 30 min — 2 hrs delay

“Severe headache, will take some medicine and reach office once I feel better…”

“Last day to pay rent to the landlord. Will pay and then reach office…”

“Last dat to pay electricity bill. Will pay and then reach office…”

“Have to take mom / dad to the doctor / hospital, will reach office after that…”

How I read the mail:

“Had a drop too much last night, woke up late…”

“Watching recreational videos late last night, woke up late…”

“Its winters and the bed is too cozy, hence the delay…”

Category 2: half-day off

“Not feeling well, going to doctor, will reach office once I’m feeling better…”

“Have to attend to a personal emergency…”

How I read the mail:

“Fought with husband / wife / girlfriend / boyfriend early morning so please give me the day to sort this out…”

A piece of advise to those who are eternally late to office: If you aren’t super excited about reaching your office every morning, get the f**k out of that job coz you ain’t enjoyin’ it.