Setting the Scene

Caution: Stereotypical “love” stories may ensue...

The longest relationship I’ve had thus far in life was a year and four months. In the grand scheme of life it seems short, doesn’t it? However, when you’re fifteen, it can seem like forever. This story may include some stereotypical high school drama, but I assure you it is not meant as the focal point.

February, 2014: Girl meets boy online, they form a friendship, then create fictitious story so they may tell parents of each other. She is a sophomore in high school and he a junior when they meet.

March, 2014: Boy and Girl are now in a relationship. As their relationship blossoms, the girl slowly does not realize she is secretly hoping to be Boy’s strength and reason for a change in character: she pursues the relationship.

August, 2014: Girl gives boy virginity.

June, 2015: Girl returns from sports camp where she realizes a few things about her relationship: she is a strong independent young woman, Boy is a kindhearted yet immature young man, Boy drops out of college after snorting an eight-ball sized dose of cocaine. Girl breaks up with Boy. One week later, she agrees to another for the relationship.

July, 2015: Girl breaks up with Boy, once and for all. Her reflection on relationship; Boy had been abused growing up. He was a middle child of 5 with verbally and physically emotional parents who were always fighting. Girl has a big heart and wanted to be a solace/comfort for Boy. Rather than acknowledging his immaturity, she chose to see him as someone she could change for the better. Girl also realizes she may have stayed in the relationship simply for his title as a football player.

July, 2015: Girl attempts to move on from Boy and meets Boy2, also online. Boy2 has never had a relationship before and Girl is his first girlfriend.

August, 2015: Girl is now officially in a relationship with Boy2, two weeks after ending the relationship with Boy. Boy2 begins bragging to peers about Girl and eventually asks her to homecoming. Girl is a senior at a high school neighboring Boy2's.

September, 2015: Girl goes to Boy2’s homecoming and vice versa. Twelve hours after Girl returns home from Boy’s homecoming (Girl’s was earlier in the month than Boy2's), Boy2 and Girl break up. Girl never kissed Boy2 (she’s horrible, I know), Boy2 was the perfect gentleman, but Girl feared she was merely in the relationship as a means of moving on from Boy.

October & November, 2015: Girl meets Boy3, also online. Girl has sexual based relationship with Boy3 without her parents’ knowledge of his existence. During this time, Girl is taking part in a winter sports camp to prepare for spring season. She begins to lie to her parent about her whereabouts and slowly realizes that Boy3 wants a legitimate relationship from her. She ends the relationship. Reflection; Girl tries to justify her actions by claiming it was a means of moving on from Boy. Her parents are still unaware of their “relationship”.

January, 2016: Girl meets Jay through mutual place of employment.

February-March, 2016: A friendship between the two blossoms. Their relationship becomes “official” in March. Jay is aware of Girl’s past and has not had a relationship before.

July, 2016: Girl takes Jay’s virginity.

August, 2016: Girl begins her first year of college, four hours from Jay. They talk everyday and are the best of friends. Girl begins to grow her circle at college and has many guy friends with a few female friends.

December, 2016: Girl begins to question relationship with Jay and her decision to be with him. She fears that her reason to stay is merely for comfort as opposed to being in her best interests. Her academic and athletic career are taxing on the relationship and she has less free time and a schedule opposite of Jay’s. They break up the first week of December but agree to work things out when she returns home for winter break. Their relationship resumes.

January, 2017: Girl ends relationship the first day of spring semester. Girl and Jay talk for the next month as friends, but the relationship is not continued. Jay had a lot of interests similar to Girl, and they had an immensely close friendship. The break up was hard for them both and Girl questioned for the next month if she did the right thing.

February, 2017: Girl comes home for spring break. Jay agrees to meet. There is no anger or resentment from Jay. Girl breaks down crying because of Jay’s heart.

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My purpose in writing this has mainly been to prove to myself that I’m human and make mistakes. The first long term relationship I had allowed me to see that sometimes love is blind. We see the other person as we would like to, not necessarily for who they are. The next two, short, relationships were my way of moving on. If you take a look at our culture, we are primarily hookup based, therefore, I felt like it was the “norm” to seek sexual satisfaction as a means of mending a broken heart. In the relationship with “Jay”, I realized that the best relationships sometimes are the ones built off a mutual respect for each other and understanding of what the other is like. Jay chose to accept me for the previous relationships I had, despite my willingness to portray myself in a way that most likely would make my parents cringe.

I’ve also learned a lot about myself. Through public schooling, I was often straight forward with people and typically kept a small social circle. I was depressed throughout my high school years and didn’t always acknowledge it. I realize this will not justify my actions, nor will it make them acceptable. I merely am writing this to connect with people who may have gone through situations similar to mine. If you, my dear reader, are in a similar situation, I encourage you to take away this (if you do not take away anything else from my words): YOU ARE NOT ALONE. There are other people in this world who have experiences similar to yours. I’ve learned how to better communicate with people, how to accept myself, and what it means to stay true to who I am, not who society tells me to be.