Am I Stagnant?
I genuinely think I am ..
I say the usual “You are on your perfect timing”. I believe it, at least I try to.
I listen to the motivations and inspirations of people who explained how their lives was once trash, before it had meaning.
How they’d stand at TEDx and dramatise with their hands, new life in their eyes.
I’d usually nod to passively absorb these things and hope for the best for myself.
But am I really going anywhere?
Or am I just stagnant?
Right there in one place, passively admitting over and over again that I have actually moved!
How sure am I that the perception that “I am not the same person as I was before” is not an illusion?
How sure am I that I have took an actual leap to my dream self.
Or am I just taking different kinds of steps to fulfill THAT ONE DREAM? Believing that every step or format I change into, automatically means I have levelled up.
How sure am I that I am not just running in circles?
With the illusion that I am climbing stairs closer to the dream, while in reality, I am just going round in circles?
How sure am I that I am NOT stagnant!
I check the life I was before and now. The money I didn’t have months ago, do I have it now?
How long do I have to wait to become IT?
How long do I have to struggle and pant, putting my all to metamorphose to my dream self?
How long? Just tell me how long?
I promise if you tell me, I will stop asking. I will understand and know that it’ll take 'this long' or 'that long' to achieve what I’m panting for.
At least it will make me to stop hoping. Because hoping is very hard. Patience is hardwork and FAITH sometimes falls me down.
I promise I’ll stop asking, just let me know when IT WILL BE. When I’ll be set free.
Finally blooming, because right now, I’m withering away.
