Stop Making Time for Relationships

Yes, you read that correctly. I think one of the keys to a successful relationship is to stop making time for them. Now, hear me out before you dump this one into the “Bad Advice” bin.

So often we are bogged down by deadlines, by work, by school, by projects, by events. The list is infinite. There is so much to do and so little time. As we become comfortable in our relationships, whether it be with our friends, family, or significant other, they can unconsciously fall by the wayside. Suddenly, we find ourselves spending more time in the office or with personal projects and more time getting into arguments with our loved ones. Or worse: not talking at all.

Then comes the stinger: setting time for your relationships. Now, don’t get me wrong. It’s good to have dates. I love when I can look forward to a phone call with one of my best friends or going on an adventure with Josh. Where I’m talking is when you constantly have to calendar time for your loved one. No spontaneity. Your relationship revolves around your work, or your projects, or your events. Deadly.

Essentially what you’re saying when you do this is, “This thing has more value than my relationship to the person I love and who loves me”. Yes, work is important (I do not come from wealth, I get it). Yes, deadlines are important. Yes, projects are important. Yes, to whatever your argument is. BUT is it more important than your loved one? Are you holding more value to this inanimate thing than your loved one?

It’s time to re-evaluate. Stop making time for your loved ones! Instead, make your relationships the priority and let everything else fall around it. Nobody gets to their deathbed and says, “Gee, I wish I had stayed a couple hours longer at work to appease my boss/get that promotion”. Anybody who works in hospice will tell you this: at the end of life, people want to know that they are loved and that the people they love know without a doubt that they are loved. We do that by giving. Giving our time, our attention, our compassion and our love.


Originally published at on August 3, 2015.

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