In school they never taught me how to sow, they did not tell me about the universe, how to be happy, or how to be free.
I spend most of the time day-dreaming at school or reading old books that I would find somewhere at my house, most of them about biology, science and space. Teachers never really care what the students where doing. I never understood the why of all the things that they taught us. When I finally finished my studies, I had no idea how I would live my life and how I would spend my time on this earth. So I figured to be a designer just because I was very good at art, illustrations and in finding the perfect balance in the chaos.
Months later I realized that all the people around me somehow influenced my way of being, then I understood that the truth I was living in wasn’t 100% mine, it was something that someone else or the collective had thought before.
I knew that if I continued this way, some day after having lived half of my life I would wake up regretful, because I had lived the reality of someone else, (which is not that bad) but my desire to live a different life and to know the why’s of our existence pushed me to think outside the box…
Then I thought: to find myself I would have to leave the schemes established by all I know. I had to be filled of lives, experiences and knowledge from many people and moments to form my own truth … then I decided to travel.
Traveling was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made, leaving my beautiful family, everything I knew for something totally disconcerting and unknown was actually one of my worst nightmares. But I did, I began to travel and as the days passed I began to know myself, my fears and problems walked by my side but I knew with certainty that one day I would have enough capacity or power to walk with them in peace.
During the first years I learned how hard life was, and how difficult it would be for a girl from a small city of an South American country to go out into the world and be someone. That did not stop me from climbing slowly but progressively. My parents always taught me that hard work will always give rewards. My father, for example, taught me that doing things well, would always give positive results, my mother gave me a Sacred truth: God is everywhere. I think those teachings were the foundational pillars for my success, and every time I was hired in a new country, I gave my best and always kept in mind that this job was just another step to get where I wanted to go.
Between those years I also had the opportunity to develop my conscience, to understand how the universe works, how physics and psychology walk together holding hands, how mathematics is our universal language and how each little thing and moment are unified and infinitely connected… I started creating my own reality. The most important lessons of my life (so far) I learned while traveling. I managed to collect more knowledge than the total time spent in all educational institutes.
Many times I have dreamed with an utopia, a place where we are all free, and each person is free because they simply do what they like to do, and somehow everyone benefits from it because what they need surely someone else has it, and vice versa.
In February of this year while I was designing on my computer in the beautiful island of Oahu, I got an emergency alarm on my phone, in fact all the 9 people who lived with me at that moment got the message. This alarm said that we had minutes before being hit with a ballistic missile … like, imagine! … you are taking your morning “Cafecito” and suddenly you are going to die, I had never felt so much fear in my life. I mean my roomates were the last people I would ever see, and our life until that moment was going to be everything that could have been.
That’s a freaking mind blowing situation.
Minutes later (which felt like hours) we learned that the person in charge of sending these messages had push the wrong button 🤦, the thing was that after that moment I understood really inside of my being that we can die at any time, I mean normally I’ve always had this in mind, you know that you are going to die at one point, and you kind of postpone things. You live thinking what you will do in several months or you will free yourself from all the dramas during the next years. But you will still get angry for stupid reasons, and think that tomorrow will be a good day to be somebody that you always wanted to be, etc. After living that experience it was like: f**k them all! I want to live NOW, like every day of my life I want to enjoy it and do what ever the F**K I WANT!!!
Having that experience made the puzzle pieces fit together, to be free you not only have to do what you like or want, but also to know yourself, accepting who you are and freely move beyond this.
Being the person that you really want or doing what you truly desire to be, requires balls. To become a bold, independend person with confidence is a long way that is definitely worthwhile and that requires making drastic changes to your small and soft comfort zone, you can start doing what you fear the most, today! It could be what ever! even the things that others normally do, like driving a motorcycle, cutting your hair, smiling to that hot guy on the next table, studying what you always wanted, changing careers or daring to dream, whatever it is, you have to f*****g take that step… and like to do it!!! the more you do it the easy it will become.
Simply because if we are all free we could one day build that Utopia that so many people have dreamed.
Today I feel that I walk towards freedom. 7 years of travel have made me a woman, who is very independent of the system, who does not seek perfection, but union, truth, beauty, intelligence and purpose … I feel like I am not another piece in the structure that supports an oppressive system, or someone who does not care what happens on this earth. I know I cannot change this world we live in, but I’m sure that to see a change outside I have to start within myself.
What about you? Are you free? Or are you just another brick on the wall?