WISHING + DREAMING DON’T WORK
‘So another year over — and a new one just began….’ are the immortal lyrics of Mr John Lennon.
We start the year as if it really is a new beginning. It gives us a clear starting point with good intentions and dreams in our pocket.
But why is January 1st any different from April 26th or August 21st? Why do we need a special day to prompt us to make change in our lives?
I don’t think we do. I think we can make change whenever we want.
If you are well and healthy, you are in control of your life. You can decide every day of the year that you’ve had enough of the crap that surrounds your life and yes you can definitely do something about it.
Our special children shape our family lives. They determine the friends we have, the holidays we take, the meals we can share, the days out we can endure.
Our special children determine the life we lead. We can make it woeful and filled with sadness and regret. It’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling utterly miserable as they are not leading the life we envisaged.We actually have to grieve for the life we thought we were engineering when we planned to have a family. Yes go ahead and grieve. It is a true emotion and we should be allowed to express it. But don’t dwell in the sadness. Don’t let it define you.
Life sometimes utterly sucks. I’ve locked myself in the bathroom for a cry. I’ve driven blindly up the motorway with tears streaming down my face vowing never to go back. I’ve ranted at innocent passers-by for staring at my child having a meltdown. I’ve glared with sheer envy at seemingly perfect families on holiday and wished that I could have just a little bit of normality. I’ve stood alone at the top of the playground steps.
I have learnt to look at my funny, beautiful son differently and what he brings to family life.
I refuse to see his difficulties as problems. He is different, unique and special. I try not to judge his life against the usual standards. The trick is to see life through his eyes and not to be sad, disappointed or judgmental. Not always easy.
But I can declare one of my dreams for 2018 on this first day of the year, is for him to find love and happiness. I actually dream this every day — but I guess that’s how I roll
Yes, have your dreams for you and your family. But dreams won’t come true on their own. We all need to take action to make them a reality. This may be on our own or through guidance or help from others. I vow to help my son and I can advise and give him real, practical ideas how to make changes in his life.
Slimming groups or gyms do very well at this time of year as we all recognise that to make change we sometimes need a helping hand. The support of a group is really powerful. If you really are serious about making a change to your family life, then find a group of people just like you who can listen, help and understand what you’re going through.
I have a closed, private Facebook group that I’d love you to join where I have a live Q and A every Wednesday at 8.30pm. Join us for some support, advice and some TLC. Click here
Dream of a better family life — but it’s what you do about it that makes the dreams come true. Don’t just wish — take some action!
I wish you a beautiful, gorgeous 2018.
And I’m here to help you all the way.