I was, as well, with my son and daughter, Wendy. I was well aware that failure to do so, to let them figure it out themselves as you say, could have terrible ramifications on multiple levels — physical, emotional, social. I don’t know if I had a direct hand in the fact that neither of them was ever promiscuous, nor ever experienced or caused an unintended pregnancy. The fact that I explained to my son that a pregnancy would result in two choices: paying for an abortion or forgoing college so as to begin working immediately in order to pay for medical care and child support for the next eighteen years to someone I could predict with 100% certainty he would not want to be tied to for eighteen years, may have thrown a teensy scare into him. Some exaggeration? Maybe. But sometimes a verbal cold shower is just the thing. He got married 3 years ago to his third girlfriend at the age of 27 after they’d been together for five years.

My daughter has chosen her boyfriends, all two of them and she’s 27 years old, with near surgical precision. She left the longest-standing one after 6 years when he thought that attempting to restrain her from reaching for the next step in her professional career was a good idea. When she was a junior in high school and two of her friends became pregnant, one of whom had an abortion, I told her about my abortion, and said that I would support her decision to have one if need be. Then I asked her what form of birth control she and her boyfriend (the long-standing one) were using. I did not ask if they were having sex. When she said condoms, I asked her to please make an appointment with Planned Parenthood, and get some information on what would be the best choice for her to use.

They are fine people. My son learned the hard way the consequences of choosing a friend unwisely. They are direct in their friendships and careers. Very socially aware, they know what injustice is, and never turn from calling it out. They live rewarding, satisfying lives. That’s all I ever hoped for them.

Neither is remotely concerned that Donald Trump has the remotest chance of being elected president.