Today was a grueling, long day at work dealing with people that constantly needed something from you.

Now you’re exhausted, a little hangry and the last thing you want to do is go to a restaurant and interact with more people.

You just want to go home, order food, curl up on your couch, and watch Netflix.

But you promised yourself you would start being more independent, “loving yourself” and “working on your relationship with yourself”, whatever that all means. It seems like a lot of bullshit, but after hearing your friends talk about taking themselves on dates, you decide to give it a go.

You reason with yourself that you can always watch Netflix on your phone and still have a nice night without having to be social.

Once you arrive at the restaurant, you realize it is in the back of a craft beer bar filled with 20-something hipsters in plaid shirts, sporting handlebar mustaches.

After almost tripping over someone’s razor scooter, you get to the restaurant and take a seat at the chef’s counter that has a view into the shoe box-sized kitchen. You mumble your drink order to the waitress and immediately pull out your phone once she leaves.

Before you become engrossed in pictures of your friend’s new puppy on Facebook, you catch a glimpse of a scruffy-looking man. He has long hair, round spectacles, and a workman’s apron and enters the kitchen carrying a stack of Tupperware filled with colorful, perfectly chopped vegetables.

You put your phone down and watch as he begins opening the containers and methodically arranging sliced radish onto brilliant-blue stoneware.

As he adds spheres of an eggplant-colored sauce adjacent to the radishes, you are so mesmerized watching him that you don’t realize you’re intensely staring at him.

He laughs and asks if it’s your first time here. You start chatting with him for a few minutes until he excuses himself and addresses the entire restaurant about the first course.

You end up chatting with him the whole night in between courses as he works, learning about his inspiration for the menu, how he got into cooking, his philosophy on food and his creative process.

At the end of the night, you leave the restaurant feeling satiated not only from the fresh, Nordic food, but also how the connection you had with the chef. It added another level of appreciation and value to the meal that made the experience one of the most memorable dinners you’ve ever had.

That scruffy guy you spent the night talking to happens to be David Burn. Burn is the head chef and creative genius behind the Michelin-star rated restaurant Luksus at Torst in Greenpoint, Brooklyn and former head chef of Norma, a restaurant in Copenhagen that’s one of the best in the world.

Although sadly Luksus closed in late 2016, I’ve had this kind of experience numerous times while dining alone.

The conversation with David Burns wouldn’t have happened if I wasn’t by myself.

If I didn’t dine alone, I wouldn’t have met other diners such as one of the curators for the MET, a Manhattan restaurant mogul, and a server who traveled to over 20 countries for his previous job on a cruise ship.

Although the below tips are for anyone with an interest in dining alone, if I haven’t convinced you how awesome solo dining, read my previous article about my first time solo dining here to ease some of your concerns.

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Solo Dining Tip #1: Engage With Other Diners and the Restaurant Staff

Most diners who come with other people have minimal interaction with the restaurant staff aside from ordering food and getting drink refills.

Often times the staff are really open to chatting about the restaurant, answering any questions you may have, and often have interesting stories to tell.

For example, I learned from my waiter at Café Boulud in Toronto that the restaurant has such a following of solo diners, many of them make Café Boulud their first stop when they are in town (full review on Café Boulud here).

I’ve found the same openness to be true with other solo diners. You never know who you might end up sitting next to and what stories they have to share.

I once met a woman that worked as a curator at the Liberty Science Center in Jersey City who told me about the brainstorming process for new exhibits and some funny stories about animals in the exhibits getting loose in the museum.

Solo Dining Tip #2: The Seating in the Restaurant Can Make a Large Impact On Your Experience

Although I’ve built up a tolerance for dining alone, some of the more romantic, candle-lit restaurants’ seating is solely tiny tables for two, lined up against a wall, which is not my favorite environment to dine alone in.

To avoid that situation, I look up pictures of the restaurant interior before going or if I decide on the fly where to eat, I peek around the restaurant before committing to eat there.

I usually find the most comfortable seating for dining alone is either at the bar, outside (weather permitting), or at a small table next to a wall or ideally a window.

Solo Dining Tip #3: If You Sit Down In a Restaurant and For Whatever Reason You Feel Uncomfortable, Leave

As long as you haven’t ordered food yet, it is better to pay for you drinks and leave then go through an uncomfortable meal alone.

There is nothing that can sour your taste for solo dining faster than an uncomfortable experience, so better to nip it in the bud sooner rather than later.

Solo Dining Tip #4: If All Else Fails, Bring Backup

When you can’t leave because you’ve already ordered food or you really want to try their menu, this is where a book or a phone can come in handy.

Although I am a big advocate of connecting with people and being present while dining alone, there is a time and place for eating while reading or using your phone.

This happened to me in Iceland where I didn’t realize that the average Icelander eats dinner around 9pm. I showed up at 7pm to an empty restaurant and none of the staff spoke English.

There were five servers that took turns refilling my water the moment after I took a sip and asking me “Food good?” every other bite. Although the staff meant well, a good book was the perfect solution to turning around an otherwise awkward meal.

Solo Dining Tip #5: Higher-End Restaurants Cater More to Solo Diners

Half the reason for the increased price at nicer restaurant is the expectation of knowledgeable and attentive wait-staff.

Higher-end restaurants had experience with solo diners, often business travelers, before it became a trend and more socially acceptable. Therefore, they tend to understand and cater to the needs of solo diners, knowing happy solo diners tend to be repeat customers (Gramercy Tavern is known for this).

Especially if you are uncomfortable with solo dining, treat yourself to a really nice meal and you will more than likely have a great experience.

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Want more tips on dining alone? Check out ChefsFeed, Thrillist, and Refinery 29 for more ideas of how to have the best experience dining solo.

Also check out my other post about How to Eat Alone and Enjoy Yourself.

Happy solo dining!

Does anyone have any tips on dining alone? Share your thoughts below.

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Originally published at soloandkicking.com on July 30, 2017.

Solo and Kicking

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Soloandkicking is a blog chronicling stories of eating solo with helpful advice and reviews for the best solo dining experiences.

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