Unfinished Venting

Sometimes it seems like everyone else has it all figured out. They seem more focussed, sure of each step they take and every move they make. Their efforts almost always prove to be beneficial, well-taken, and successful. I would be hard pressed to find someone who, even through their hardships, seems even half as confused about life as I am. And it worries me.

I wake up everyday and relive yesterday. I go through the same routine, follow the same processes, make the same decisions and the same mistakes. The other day, however, I did something a little bit differently. I went looking for jobs. And I did so in the company of one of my best friends. This is usually a task best handled alone, but he wasn’t too busy and doesn’t mind going on a little adventure every now and then. And, I’ve got to say, it made the experience a lot more enjoyable.

You see, I’m usually a bit of a loner. I tend to keep to myself more often than not. It’s better that way for me. It’s been proven to be an unhealthy way of living, but it has worked for me this far. It’s kept me clear of harmful paths like the ones I used to follow. I spend more time with my family now than I have in the past 3 years. While that is not always a good thing, it is still preferable to spending that time with those who would rather see me fail or remain in their slow growing environment.