Cure Found for Sneakertosis Epidemic
by sōlscience staff writer
“We never fathomed the day would arrive where our solution would end up becoming the source of an unimaginably advanced and unfamiliar problem.”
While sōlscience experienced many years of tremendous success with ANTIDŌT, the sneaker deodorizer and fragrance favored by sneakerheads worldwide, reports beginning in the year 2030 revealed that certain strands of sneakertosis funk were spawned and evolved to become resistant to the original ANTIDŌT formula. This eventually led to what most of us know as the Sneakertosis Epidemic of 2035.
For the past decade, the team at sōlscience have been in the lab diligently trying to revise their formula in order to destroy these new staunch strands of microbial funkiness.
Through rigorous testing, trial and error, and an outside-of-the-box approach, they serendipitously discovered that electro-magnetic waves combined with the use of certain rare metals within their proprietary blend significantly amplified the formula’s effectiveness. In essence, the newfound process hyper-activates their formula resulting in a 99.999% effective rate of instantly annihilating the mutated funk-causing bacteria upon contact.
Today, sōlscience proudly introduces HYPER ANTIDŌT — The next generation of the ANTIDŌT formula adapted to battle against a new era of sneaker funk.
What’s Included:
- HYPER ANTIDŌT micro spray bottle with magnetic base
- Wireless hyper-charger with “Activation Status” glow indicator
- Hyper-woven carbon fiber carrying case
How To Use:
- Unpack the wireless hyper-charger and plug into power source.
- Remove HYPER ANTIDŌT’s vacuum sealed packaging and place on hyper-charger.
- The charger’s glow indicator will begin to flash rapidly inducing an electro-magnetic current at a high pulse rate to activate and hyper-charge the formula.
- After 10–15 seconds, the flashing indicator will begin to slow and stabilize its glow.
- HYPER ANTIDŌT is now ready to use — the formula inside the bottle will stay activated for approximately 5 minutes.
Please Note: HYPER ANTIDŌT does not require to be shaken to activate.
The Inspiration Behind HYPER ANTIDŌT
By Dylan Tokumasa, R&D Project Leader
I remember the day vividly. It was starting out to be a really difficult one. During the usual morning routine of developing and testing different variations in search of a more effective formula, I accidentally tripped, spilling and shattering a test tube filled with a sample formula that I believed may have potentially been the one to end the Sneakertosis epidemic. Utterly defeated, I laid motionless on the floor in despair, my cheek resting against the cold hard floor. Staring blankly for what seemed like forever, my gaze began to slowly come into focus on my microclimate controlled sneaker collection display in the hallway. My eyes naturally gravitated towards my father’s O.G. 2016 Nike HyperAdapt 1.0.
It was Tiffany Beers, Nike’s then engineering director, who made the iconic Nike Air MAG sneaker come alive with its self-lacing system. Her relentless drive and passion for the project resulted in a fully functional Air Mags in 2015 — the surprise deadline announced to the media a year prior by Tinker Hatfield to match the year it was shown in the Back to the Future movie. This accomplishment led to the development of Nike’s first commercialized self-lacing system, the HyperAdapt 1.0.
A technologically advanced sneaker for its time utilized wireless power inducing pods, and at that moment, while laying on the floor, with a myriad of thoughts flowing through my mind, synapses firing at once, something inside of me sparked a connection. I was reinvigorated and unlocked a newfound idea that bore fruit to a critical component that was needed to develop our new HYPER ANTIDŌT formula.
Thank you Tiffany. Thank you Tinker. Thank you Nike. We’re simply paying homage to your creativity and inspiration.
Note: Story written above and Hyper ANTIDŌT are both fictitious pieces for entertainment purposes.
