My mom is a doctor, a pediatrician. She is very down to earth and sometimes conformist, at the same time being hopeless romantic. My dad was an artist at heart, a rebel, the kind that will fight for his ideals. I’m a mix. Talk about crazy set of DNA. But on the “normal” part — my mom always used to say that there are no 100% normal people, everybody’s got something, it’s only about the extent of that “something” and whether it interferes with everyday life. Meaning, can you simply go through small talk or be at work at 9 even though you’ve tried to change your sleeping pattern for 15 years and it doesn’t work. Some people have “something” that interferes with so called normal life and it’s not anybody’s call to judge or give advice when not asked.
So my mom has always claimed, we’re perfectly normal and average (since we’re physically very similar, sometimes she was merging me and her — fantastic option) and whatever discomfort or emotional issue “we” have, it’s all about gathering your shit together. Stop overthinking, apparently you have too much free time, do something constructive. And my favorite “There was a girl in my office today, who will be disabled for the rest of her life after being hit by a car. SHE has got a real problem and yet she’s so positive” Umm, thanks for your support. The problem was, my issues were not coming from overthinking and certainly not the most annoying one.
I have misophonia, which haven’t been recognized as a disorder until few years ago. Basically, it’s extremely hard for me to not murder people when I hear lips smacking, chewing gum, slurping, plus repetitive sounds (pen clicking). All sudden sounds disturb me to the point that I can’t focus, at work I had to have headphones on. I’ve been hearing criticism my entire life — that I’m mean, rude, spoiled, I overreact, etc. My ex claimed that I have a problem with him not the way he eats. It was terrible, no one understood that I would give anything not to have it and that reaction that I have, is physical. My heart rate goes up, my fists clench, all my muscles get tensed and sometimes I have to leave, cause I feel that I won’t make it and I will go nuts. Maybe that’s why I love to stay up late as well.
I admire your strength and persistence to set your life in a way that smoothens out the parts that are not compatible with “normal”. I was way too often a rebel without a cause and I burned too many bridges due to that. You don’t complain that there’s nothing you can do, you work your ass off to find a loophole, a workaround. Hats off, honestly.
