November 20th, 2021 was the worse day of my life. Sweety, my 16 year old German Shepherd/Golden Retriever mix was my best friend. We adopted her from North Shore Animal League in Port Washington, Long Island, back in 2005.
We all dreamed of having a puppy but never actually carried through with it. In 2005 my mother suffered a heart attack and had bypass surgery. Her recovery was supposed to be slow and steady which is why we thought adopting a dog would be perfect because we would be at home with both her and the dog. September 5th 2005, was when Sweety joined our family.
I was still getting a foothold in college when I was diagnosed with Depression. Sweety was my lifesaver and having a dog can be yours too! Having a pet has health benefits and science has proven that it can prolong your life! But what happens when you lose your pet?
Losing Sweety was rough on our family. Her liver was damaged due to her age, which also lead to other health problems. The day came where we had to rush her to the emergency room and then take a call on her future. The thought of that day pains me intensely. I always prayed I’d never be in that situation but God had other plans. I don’t blame Him at all because I know today, I’ve accepted today that my baby is in a better place.
Getting through those first weeks were difficult and my friends suggested I go to therapy. As I was already seeing a therapist, I spoke to her about Sweety and it gave me some closure. I kept her alive in my memories, and I was encouraged to share our memories together. I feel that this was the most important coping mechanism which lead me to over come my grief. I replaced posters and art with pictures of Sweety. Every morning when I wake up, I walk over to those pictures and say to my baby “I love you and I know you’re watching over me.” Doing this has helped me accept that although she isn’t with my physically, she is always with me.
I think a mistake that people make is trying to rid the house of all their belongings. Hiding your pet’s belongings or get rid of them, doesn’t help your mind, your heart, heal from their loss. People feel that the constant reminder can be torturous and honestly, I disagree. I taught myself to look at it as a reminder of their presence in your day to day life. Sure, their water bowl or bed isn’t necessary to keep around. Their favorite toy might help trigger some happy or funny memories of you and your pet.
Spend time with your friends and if they have dogs, even better! Most of my colleagues and friends have cats and dogs. Initially I was hesitant in being as friendly as I was while Sweety was still with us. But one day I thought “how is it their fault, she’s not here anymore?” Keeping this in mind changed my outlook altogether. I spent more time with my friends, loved their pets, enjoyed each moment with them and shared Sweety’s toys with them. This gave me closure. I began to feel Sweety’s presence in other pets. Seeing them happy, made me happy.
Ultimately, I was able to assure myself: We gave her a good life. I think back and try to pick out things we could have done differently, but nothing comes to mind. With Sweety’s health, I knew we put in 100%. We gave her the best diet and supplements she could ever have. I researched everything I ever gave her and made most of her food by myself. We did what you would have done for your pet. We showered her with lots of love.
Having a pet will change your life forever!
No one lives forever. We are mortals like our pets are. It’s a hard pill to swallow that we will lose our loved ones one day. But the experience and joy of having a pet cannot be replaced with anything. Having Sweety brought my family closer together. We went out more, we socialized more and most importantly, my mother recovered from her quadruple bypass surgery in 3 months! That’s unheard-of!
My father took the hit hardest. He still has sleepless nights when he thinks of Sweety. As I hope to help you, through my story, I try to help him as well. We go for walks and play with the local dogs and chat with their owners. Everyone on my block knew Sweety. We’re constantly reminded of her and while at one point that brought me pain, today it brings me pride and joy. She touched everyone in some way or another. Everyone loved her.
Today I puppy-sit when I get the chance to. I feel like it’s the closest I can get to Sweety. I’m sure you’re thinking, “Why not adopt another puppy?” While I love the idea, I don’t personally think I’m ready yet. It’s been months since I lost my baby but the idea of moving on with having a new one, is an idea I can’t accept yet. My goal is to have a Corgi one day and I’m sure I will but until then, I want to spend more time with my memories of Sweety and shower love on my “fur friends.”
Here are some resources about adopting your next fur-baby:
