Choosing a Career as a Korean American Student: A Sociological Study

Introduction

Korean American students, whether they are born in the U.S. or whose family immigrated in pursuit of better educational opportunities, often differentiate between a “Korean” way of life and an “American” one. Being students, one of the instances in which this distinction is most prominent is when comparing how much their parents emphasized — or not emphasized — their educational achievement. In other words, Korean parents are stereotypically viewed as being overly concerned about their children’s grades, the type of college in which their children are eventually accepted to, and the importance of their children securing a respectable and high-paying job — such as a doctor, engineer, or lawyer. On the contrary, a typical White American parent, for instance, may be viewed by Koreans as being much more hands-off in their children’s academic performance and willing to provide their children with the independence necessary to pursue their true passions (Okazaki & Abelmann, 2018).

These stereotypes regarding Korean parents’ micromanagement of their children’s educational path ultimately arose due to various reasons. First of all, Korea has historically placed a large amount of emphasis on scholarly pursuits and such behavior was strongly associated with the high status of the Yangban clan during the Joseon Dynasty (Kim, 2017). Further, with the increasing governmental and familial focus towards education during the midst of the IMF crisis, education began to be viewed as both a safety net and a ticket for upwards social mobility. Especially in recent times riddled with high youth unemployment rates — with the majority of those youths being college graduates — even more pressure has been put on Korean students’ shoulders to ensure the best shot at not only the most respected, top-paying occupations but to secure even the most basic but stable jobs (Steger, 2016). These deeply-rooted sentiments and values often carry over to Korean American students’ lives — especially through various parenting styles and the depth of the relationship students have with his or her parents. As we will witness throughout our interviewee’s responses, numerous factors such as the families’ socioeconomic status, the parents’ personal upbringings and hardships during their youths, and the students’ own drive for academic success all play a role in influencing their perspective on education. We will delve deeper into this multifaceted situation and how those factors ultimately influence the considerations students make when choosing a career. I will also refer to ethnographic cases described by Sumie Okazaki and Nancy Abelmann in their book, Korean American Families in Immigrant America, which also delves deeper into the effect of parental influence in their children’s lives.

Methods

In this study, I virtually conducted in-depth, semi-structured interviews of three Korean-American college seniors attending prestigious universities in California. I will be referring to these interviewees by their pseudonyms: Kenton, David, and Daniel. Kenton is currently a graduating civil engineering major at a prestigious public university. He was raised by a single mother who worked a 9 to 5 job in clothing retail, so he noted his older sister, Cathy, played a big role of being the ‘second mother’. Kenton was born in the U.S. and has spent all of his life growing up in California. David was born in Korea and grew up in Seattle since the age of 10. He is currently a graduating senior at a prestigious California liberal arts college and plans on working in healthcare consulting after graduation. David was raised in a very affluent neighborhood and enjoyed being an only child within a nuclear family. David’s father works a very technical, highly-skilled engineering position in ship repairing, and his mother does not work. Lastly, Daniel is also a graduating senior at the same liberal arts college as David and plans on working a financial consulting job upon graduation. He is a Korean international student who spent the majority of his life in Korea with his younger sister and parents. Like David, Daniel’s mother is a homemaker while his father holds a high CPA position in a large Korean company. Throughout the interviews I asked each participant various questions about their Korean identity, parental relationships, values regarding education, process of choosing their careers, and their background that has led them to where they are today. Standardized questions helped me compare differences and similarities in experiences that the participants had — these experiences varied due to differing immigrant status, socioeconomic status, and family relationships.

American Vs. Korean

As one may imagine, your sense of identity and self plays a crucial factor when deciding what you look for in a career. For Korean Americans, there are two cultural identities that often pose conflicting values that struggle to coexist: American and Korean. Of course what it means to be ‘American’ or ‘Korean’ can have many different meanings depending on who you ask. However, there seems to be strong, stereotypical views of both cultures that are held universally. When I asked Kenton regarding his opinion about what being “Korean” means as a Korean American, he responded:

“As a student, I think the differences between the two cultures revolve so much on lifestyles and parenting”… “Koreans parents, like all Asian parents, are stereotypically known to be strict, and have curfews for their children to focus on studies”… “really wants their children to become either a doctor or a lawyer; expects support and care for their parents throughout life”… “ and doesn’t know how to show affection” (Kenton)

Right away, we see how simply identifying as Korean can carry many assumptions and stereotypes that Korean Americans are already aware of — especially in regards to their education and career pathway. When I asked David and Daniel the same question, they noted very similar stereotypes of a Korean household such as “usually being very disciplined academically” and “parents who monitor your grades a lot”. At this point in the interviews, I did not even mention anything about Korean academics, education, or career decisions; but the fact that these stereotypes were already mentioned shows 1) how persistently the Korean (or Asian) image revolves around academic excellence and 2) how universal these views are despite the different upbringings and backgrounds of the interviewees. Unsurprisingly, all three interviewees stated similar views on what they think about in regards to ‘American’ culture. Daniel didn’t hesitate to express:

“All of my White American friends are just more relaxed in general, especially in regards to education. Of course, this is just a stereotype but in the eyes of many Koreans, the American culture is much more individualistic; parents encouraging their children to follow their passions; kids don’t really have to listen to their parents” (Daniel)

These stereotypical views on the “American” way of life and upbringing directly conflicts with the traditional Korean values that the interviewees initially described. Thus, there was a clear, similar distinction in the minds of all participants regarding what the typical behaviors and values in which a Korean and American household upholds. These models and archetypes provide the foundations for the values and prioritizations the participants had when considering their career paths.

Parental Influence: Desire for a Higher Income

Across all three participants, Korean parents played a crucial role in emphasizing the importance of education — which is viewed as the ticket to one’s desired career — from an early age. However, the magnitude and the reasoning behind this academic emphasis differed across socioeconomic statuses. For instance, Kenton, an aspiring software engineer raised by a single mother, expressed how he already grew interested in engineering from an early age which, in his opinion, was the reason why his parents didn’t pressure him to pursue a particular career field. However, Kenton’s parents placed a lot of pressure beginning in elementary school for him to 1) excel in academics and 2) to find a high paying, stable job. When asked to elaborate on his parents’ influence in his career development, Kenton stated:

“I remember in 6th grade, my mom came home from work when I was eating takeout with my [older] sister. She slumped down on the couch and kind of faintly whispered to us, ‘when are you guys going to start making a lot of money?’”… “The countless times my mom told me to do better in school or reminded me that school was the only way I was going to be an engineer, didn’t hit me as hard as this moment did. I knew that I had to have a career that pays a lot” (Kenton)

Kenton’s mom continued to emphasize education since in her eyes — and in the eyes of most Koreans — education and good academic standing were the only sure way of obtaining a respectable, high-paying job that could enable upward social mobility. Witnessing his mom exhausted every day indirectly pressured Kenton to narrow his potential career choices to only those that paid a high salary. Kenton stated that his moral obligation to give back to his mom and provide for the family was the main driving force for focusing so much in maintaining good grades and ultimately securing a good paying job. In fact, this objective led Kenton, a civil engineering major, to begin learning computer science to gradually shift his career pathway to software engineering — a career which Kenton noticed paid a lot more than his projected civil engineering job. Kenton’s desire to give back to his mother directly fits the traditional ‘Korean’ way of life he described in the previous section: to care and support one’s parents throughout one’s life. Thus, despite the seemingly universal desire to obtain a high salaried career, Kenton’s motivations behind that desire was deeply rooted in the Korean values instilled by his working single mother.

Differences Across SES

For David and Daniel — my interviewees from an upper class family — their parents still stressed the importance of academics and obtaining a high paying career, but to a lesser degree and pressure. Instead, David’s parents stressed the importance of long-lasting connections — especially with non-Asians. David was always a student who was self-motivated in his academic life. For this reason, David’s parents let him “do his own thing” in terms of schoolwork since they trusted him to always perform at his best. However, David described himself as always being a ‘shy and nerdy’ kid who naturally began prioritizing his homework or exam preparation over hanging out with friends. When asked to elaborate, David gave a faint smile before explaining:

“I think it had to do with the fact I moved to Seattle from Korea when I was 10”… “Not only did I not know what the alphabet was, I entered 5th grade in the middle of the semester so it was even harder for me to make friends or get accustomed to the U.S. culture”… “I guess I used studying as a coping mechanism throughout elementary and middle school”… “that’s why [my parents] always pushed me to hang out with friends after school or always gave me 용돈 for me to buy my friends some food. They also signed me up for the school basketball team just for me to be more outgoing — I ended up loving it in the end” (David)

Academic excellence and having the trajectory of a good career was the least of David’s parents’ worries — mostly because they entrusted David to always have education as a priority. As Korean immigrants who moved to a very affluent Seattle neighborhood, David’s parents were worried that he would not be able to survive or excel within the American workplace that heavily relies on making social connections and engaging in American activities. Nonetheless, David got to enjoy the stereotypical ‘American’ lifestyle where there was much less parental involvement in his academic and career decisions; he enjoyed further encouragement for social integration through sports, hanging out with friends, and after school hobbies (rather than after school tutoring academies renown throughout the Korean communities). This freedom, as David put it, allowed him to pursue the career — healthcare consulting — he truly felt passionate for, despite the field not paying as much as other business careers his friends were involved in. Furthermore, when I asked David if providing or supporting his parents played any role in his career decision process, he immediately responded, “oh no, not at all. My parents don’t need any financial assistance from me, which I’m always grateful for”. Thus, not only were career decisions influenced by the differences in parenting and emulation of different cultural values (either a ‘Korean’ or ‘American’ style), the socioeconomic differences between Kenton and David’s families shaped different underlying motivations for pursuing their respective careers.

Furthermore, Daniel, a Korean international student, also experienced a similar ‘Americanized’ lifestyle where his parents gave majority of the academic and career-deciding responsibility to himself. Daniel’s parents, especially his mother, always emphasized to him that they wanted him to be happy regardless of what job he ends up pursuing. However, Daniel explained how this ‘hands-off’ parenting was a very rare case when compared to his Korean classmates. Daniel expressed how his self-motivation to secure a lucrative career — in investment banking — stemmed from the competitive, toxic environment created by his international high school classmates:

“I really disliked my high school; on the outside, people may seem all nice and friendly”… “but people would do everything to mess you up and give themselves an advantage: jobs, internships, you name it. [Students] spread fake rumors, steal each other’s study guides, and parents sue other parents left and right… I guess that’s what happens if you combine 50 rich kids who all want to make more money than you and work at the best companies. You have no choice but to have the same burning hunger for the highest return [of investment]. If you don’t, you’re not going to survive” (Daniel)

Daniel’s situation was an oddity where he was raised by very lenient parents but had to endure an extremely competitive high school amongst classmates raised by the ‘traditional’ Korean educational fervor. Daniel’s parents were firm believers in pursuing happiness and a job he really enjoys rather than solely focusing on the money one may get from a particular job. When I asked Daniel about what may have led to his parents’ uncommon ideology, he stated,

“It’s probably because my dad has been working a high CPA position that pays very good money; but for the past 30-ish years, he hated the job. My mom always tells me, ‘look at [my dad] — you need to do fulfilling work in the future. Yes, make money and all that but you need to be happy in what you do.’” (Daniel)

Daniel expressed how his parents’ encouragement to ‘follow your passions’ was truly helpful in alleviating some of the stress he had throughout high school. However, he gradually gained the tunnel-vision of pursuing the highest paying business job he knew of: Investment banking analyst, a career many of his wealthy classmates were pursuing. Thus, we again see the interplay between different parenting styles and socioeconomic status. Had Daniel or David’s family been from a lower socioeconomic standing, there is no guarantee that their parents would have still adopted a more “Americanized” way of parenting. Furthermore, if Daniel’s family did not have the financial capability for him to attend his expensive international high school, Daniel’s career path may have been drastically different without the influence of his toxic, wealthy classmates.

What Leads to ‘American’ or ‘Korean’ Parenting Styles?

Undoubtedly, countless factors play into determining which parenting styles Korean parents choose to enforce. As we have seen from Daniel’s situation, the reason behind his parents’ emphasis on pursuing passions rather than a high salary, revolved around his dad’s own life experience working in a high-status yet unfulfilling career. Furthermore, David’s parents also employed a similar ‘Americanized’ style where social integration with American peers was the most emphasized. However, both David and Daniel had two things in common: they were both of high socioeconomic status and were already self-motivated to focus on their academics (which ultimately allowed them to obtain their desired career). If David and Daniel were from lower socioeconomic status families, would their parents be so indifferent about them not pursuing a high-income occupation? Similarly, if they were not already getting the best grades by themselves, would their parents still have been as lenient with their academic discipline, and would they have still encouraged them to focus on friends and social connections?

Ben Koh, one of the ethnographic participants in Okazaki and Abelmann’s book Korean American Families in Immigrant America, is in many ways, the opposite of David and Daniel. Ben’s parents are of lower socioeconomic background and have started a small dry cleaning business after immigrating to the U.S. from Korea. Furthermore, Ben never performed outstandingly in school. Despite these differences, both of Ben’s parents still raised Ben by emphasizing — more than anything — the importance of assimilation into American culture and making American friends (Okazaki & Abelmann, 2018). Similar to Daniel’s situation, the reasoning behind the Koh’s parenting style mainly stemmed from their personal experiences with immigration. Running the dry cleaning business within an affluent, predominantly White community has revealed to Mr. and Mrs. Koh how much of a social minority Koreans still are in the U.S. Ben’s parents described an instance “when a Jewish customer accused Mr. Koh of having stolen a Rolex watch that the customer had left in the pocket of a garment. ‘They look down on Koreans’, Mrs. Koh said” (Okazaki & Abelmann, 2018). These moments of racism and disrespect motivated Mr. and Mrs. Koh to raise Ben to be socially outgoing and confident — traits they believed is needed to have strong interactions with whoever Ben encounters in his future American career. Similar to ‘shy and nerdy’ David, Ben was also described to be extremely timid, especially amongst his White American friends. Ben’s mom described even witnessing him bringing a glass of water to his White best friend after being ‘ordered’ to do so in his own home. Much like how David’s parents pushed David to be socially outgoing and confident by registering him for the basketball team and giving allowance money for him to get food with friends, Mr. and Mrs. Koh shaped Ben’s confidence by convincing him to join the school volleyball team and encouraging him to ‘be himself’ around his White American friend group. Surprisingly, to Ben’s parents, Ben’s shyness was a much more pressing issue than Ben’s relatively poor academic performance throughout high school. Even more surprisingly, Mr. and Mrs. Koh’s nontraditional parenting style seemingly paid off since Ben ended up securing a prestigious accounting job — an opportunity that, ironically, was made possible through an elevator conversation Ben had with one of his former volleyball teammates.

Conclusion

Overall, for Korean American students, the process of choosing a career is heavily influenced by the values instilled by their parents. However, as demonstrated through participant interviews, the values that ultimately get highlighted are deeply altered by one’s class, the students’ individual motivation for academic success, and the parents’ own prior experiences in America and workplace culture. A ‘Korean’ parenting style, like the one employed by Kenton’s mother, may consistently place pressure or emphasis on academic success and obtaining a high paying job. In contrast, ‘Americanized’ parenting styles may place more importance on social integration, pursuing one’s passions, and less stress on academic performance. Furthermore, despite the popular desire for a high-paying career amongst most aspiring young professionals, the motivations behind this desire differed by class and parenting style. While students of lower socioeconomic status raised by more ‘Korean’ values were mainly motivated by the feeling of giving back to their parents, financially affluent students raised within a more ‘Americanized’ parenting style were motivated by individualistic goals — such as the need to beat the high school competition. While it can be argued that having a high socioeconomic status and an academically-motivated student are conditions needed for parents to feel comfortable utilizing an ‘Americanized’ parenting style, Okazaki and Abelmann’s ethnographic participants demonstrate that other factors — particularly concerns derived by parents’ own experiences and hardships — have a prominent impact in parenting. Of course, my own ethnographic research was conducted only on a small convenience sample of Korean American college students. Further input from a broader sample of Korean Americans with more diverse interests and family backgrounds is needed to discern further nuances that influence students’ multifaceted journey in choosing their careers.

References:

Okazaki, S., & Abelmann, N. (2018). Korean American families in Immigrant America: How teens and parents navigate race. New York University press.

Kim, C.-gil. (2017). The history of Korea. Greenwood Press.

Steger, I. (2016, October 17). After 20 years of studying and exams, South Korea’s smartest graduates struggle to find a Job. Quartz. Retrieved April 20, 2023, from https://qz.com/805909/after-20-years-of-studying-and-exams-even-south-koreas-smartest-graduates-are-struggling-to-find-a-job