How America Spreads the Disease that is Racism by not Confronting Racist Family Members and Friends
April Harter, LCSW

Rebuttal to: How America Spreads the Disease that is Racism by not Confronting Racist Family Members and Friends

Racism is the elephant in the room in America — particularly, white America. White people would like racism to go away. The thought that their ancestors could have been slave owners is an embarrassment to most.

Come, now. We both know that racism is just a prevalent with Black families as White ones. I suspect that it may even be more prevalent since they are often told they cannot be racist by virtue of their skin and since racism is even encouraged by Black leaders.

You also seem to contradict your self. Are White people particularly racist, or would we like it to go away and are embarrassed if our ancestors owned slaves?

In counseling many white Americans who are against racism, one thing stands out: they are afraid to confront their racist family members and friends. They are against racism, but they also love their family and friends. I am often asked, “April, I don’t know what to do. How do I confront them without upsetting them?”

It is very difficult indeed. It’s been my experience that people are very defensive about their hatred. Shine a light on it, or encourage them to quit and they usually react very angrily about it. Why? Because they are addicts. That’s what addicts do.

Okay. I’ll just free form it from here. Racism, like hypocrisy, is universal. Every race has racists in it, and any race of person can be a racist. Racism is hatred and the believed inferiority of another race. That supposed inferiority maybe intellectual, physical or moral. Sometimes, for real assholes, it’s all three.

Hate is an emotion that all are capable of, but hatred is a choice. We chose hatred because of pride. Now humanists will call this “ego integrity” etc, but really. Low self-esteem is not a problem in world today. Narcissism is. We don’t hate people because we feel bad about ourselves. No, we really hate people because our narcissistic pride tells us that we are superior to “them”.

Pride is the black heart of all that is going wrong with the US today. The one percent hate the middle and lower class. Why? Because “they” are better than “us”. They think they deserve to take what ever they can. Pride makes the Left hate the Right and the Right hate the left. Pride causes racism, sexism etc. All of it.

But you see, Pride makes the minorities hate too. Pride makes POCs hate White folks. Pride makes homosexuals hate Christians the same as pride makes Christians hate sexual minorities. Pride makes phemonists hate men and makes MRAs hate women. Pride makes Democrats hate Republicans and Republicans hate Democrats. Pride makes Atheists hate the religious hate Atheists.

Pride causes all of this, and in this narcissistic world we live in, pride has ubiquitous. Every member of every group is ate up with pride. And every group leader uses this pride to motivate the group. For instance, consider the chart you posted. Notice anything about it? It’s only directed towards White people only. The implication is clear enough. White people are racists. Pride tells POCs that they are not part of the problem. Pride tells them that they are pristine and pure. Pride tells them it’s all Whiteys fault.

Pride is an addiction. It manifests itself most readily in outrage. What I call the “how dare they!”s. 
Some one cut you off on the freeway? HOW DARE THEY! 
Black people dance in the street during a roit? HOW DARE THEY! 
White racists (AKA the citronella corps) burn torches? HOW DARE THEY!
Whathefa counter protests. HOW DARE THEY!

Small town baker refuse to back a gay wedding cake? HOW DARE THEY!
Gay activists take them to court? HOW DARE THEY!
The drug pushers push the drug, the addicts get their fix. Their “two minutes hate”.

And that’s what it is. A drug. Well, a neurotransmitter called dopamine, but essentially a drug. Pride can never be satisfied. Unfortunately, the self correcting mechanism in our society to counter act selfishness and pride was disabled about 50 years ago.

So, to break the addiction requires humility, and America ain’t about that anymore. We have to see each other as individuals, instead of groups. We have to resist judging and give everyone the benefit of the doubt. We have to realize, not on an abstract sense, but deep down, truly realize that as a group no one is is any better than any other group.

Democrats are not any better. Republicans are not any better. Blacks are not any better. Whites are not any better. Christians are not any better. Atheists are not any better. etc, etc.

Oh, and if you confront a family member about racism, you better be ready to lose them. For many, it simply isn’t worth the cost. For people like me who are married to another race, it’s worth it.

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