There is no rush
Time heals everything- every wound, every scar, every pain etc etc. scars/wounds/pain which are physical in nature and visible to us and as well as to the world around us are timed and go away as they slowly dry out sometimes leaving a little or no marks at all and before we know it we are a whole new person again with only remnants of what happened left behind clinging to our minds. But what do we do about emotional pain? Which is abstruse and mysterious. Pain which sometimes is a resultant of a loss of someone close, a failed relationship, a heartbreak etc etc. How do we nurse it to be healed utterly? Where do we find a medicine to heal our emotional scars and who do we turn to? — as much as we would want to toy with the thought of turning or sharing our pain to someone -as our last resort, our rebound, our shoulder to cry on; who might bring us out from the darkness blanketed by our pain, who might save us from self destruction, who might even succeed in trying to fix us; it’s also important to draw a line somewhere to decide how much and to what extent you are willing to be saved and share the pain you are going through. Because we all know not many can or will fathom out the reasons behind this and those who can; will try to reason out every little detail not in the hope of edification or on the pretext of imparting some sound advice/judgement for your future course of action to follow but with genuine empathy and wish to see us overcome that pain and heal and happy again. Also because when it’s about trying to unravel and unfold the pain of the other person reasoning comes first to most of us and emotions take shape based on the reasons which match our understanding.
But why everybody wants to heal each other?! Why do we want be saviours? Why do we look outside instead of looking inside because that’s where the healing starts from. It starts within you; by coming to terms with the pain you are feeling; by getting a grip of it. I have always had a hard time trying to decipher why we think we can heal one another; after much contemplation and observations (I gained from my surroundings) I realized the reason we do this because some where in the hearts of our hearts we think we are healing ourselves by healing others which in few cases could stand to be true but in most cases untrue. We never heal ourselves by healing others; we merely create more chaos, confusion and dilemmas for ourselves and for the other person. As kind as we think this act is it’s actually unkind and unfair because you’re not just choking and obstructing that person’s emotional growth but yours too.
Healing is an act of courage and compassion of/for yourself. It is not bound by time. It is also a virtue existing and breathing in all of us with very few being aware of it’s existence and mostly choosing to turn a blind eye and go about being ignorant and not to address and dignify it for they are the one who need it more than the ones who at least acknowledge the truth in the first place; truth that there’s pain inside and needs to be heard and felt. Yes the first step towards healing is to the feel the pain; feel it as deeply as you want to even if it means crying to no end, sitting in some corner of your house and reflecting, going over each and every memory or moment scene by scene and frame by frame, going to bed crying and getting up feeling numb to everything and everyone around, not wanting to go about following your daily routine as mundane as washing your face or changing your clothes, not wanting to trust anyone again, feeling like your insides have been wrenched, feeling lost and aloof; staring into nothingness for time unbound and the feeling goes on — it’s ok to feel the pain and not move on for as long as you choose to and it’s absolutely ok too to not move on at all. After all what do you mean by moving on? Does it mean you jump from emotions to emotions. It’s one thing to be shallow and a little hard hearted towards the other person but it’s entirely a different thing to be like this towards your inner self then what makes us say that we respect ourselves if we don’t respect what we feel and the feeling in question here is -PAIN. We all are different and have extremely different ways of dealing with our pain- some of us get healed in no time or barely feel the need to deal with it and choose to hide it in the depths of our hearts and keep the learning inconspicuous to the outer world and remain furtive yet stealth (it’s the cost they pay for their pride and ego) and some of us choose to get over it by making it a part of our lives; by giving it its fair share of time and well-deserved and justified attention; by making it the constant source and force of our life long learnings and lessons; by learning to live with it; by choosing to trust and love again and by never wishing or desiring to change the past or undo all the wrongs and replace them with all the rights or vice-versa; break into tears so much and so often while talking about our pain until we don’t break into tears at all. Not because you’re healed completely but the period of pain is over; you chose to suffer for some time now the time has come to let go and it to be a distant and vague memory or a thought or a feeling. Ultimately what is pain? It’s a part of who you are, how you behave and how far you are willing to take it because a loss if it’s to happen is inevitable it is the grief we learn to live with. Pain demands to be felt it’s the way of honoring what was there in the past; it is the way of honoring the faith and trust you invested in someone or something; it’s the way of honoring the good and bad moments you cherished and withstood while they lasted, it’s at last the way of honoring the happiness and good times awaiting you with its arms wide open; ready to embrace you but with a disclaimer- Bumps (still) ahead on the path; choose wisely.
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Live happy and live truly ❤️