When unstable says I am stable…
As a kid we all have often eavesdropped on our parents’ conversations on wishing and wanting to bring more stability in their children’s lives because it’s their duty to make their children feel stable in any situation they find themselves in. And if children begin to manifest any symptoms of being unstable (emotionally and psychologically) parents assume they can contain it; fix it or change it to an extent ; with a hope to instill the same definition and meaning of stability into their children’s lives as their parents did to their lives and their parents’ parents; and by definition I mean — Tangible and Intangible stability- And Parents if not all but most always work hard and diligently to provide these two kinds of stabilities to their children and will somehow manage to do so because we as a society want and crave structure, foundation and stability of a kind which gives us a sense of safety and wholeness. We follow the same set of principles and values not because it is a knowledge that has been passed on from generations to generations or has been ongoing for time immemorial but because we take great comfort in the fact that rules of the foundation/structure/stability have been set, patterned and influenced and there is very little left for us to do anything or change the rules; therefore instead of exacting, summoning and challenging the opacity of our age-old status quo or meaning of stability; we accept it and make it a nucleus of our existence. But little do we know that one day there will be a face off between our existence and our streamlined stability; when we finally wake up to realize the paradoxes we have been fed and asked not to question. And trust me this is not going to be one of yours run-of–the-mill wake up calls.
This one will shake you to your core, face you like a tall wall-wall you will find yourselves unable to climb on and question your very existence and purpose in this life. But it’s not mandatory that we all receive this wake up call from our inner self and for some it may be inconsequential to even get to the point of realizing and differentiating between the standards set by society and the standards they wish or not to set for themselves because my beliefs could be your disbelief and my values of how I wish to define my stability could be frowned upon by the moral police of our so-called society which then gives birth to a parallel society of beings like you and me who question everything — everything which challenges their definition and nicety of stability different from what’s been stated and laid down.
We often confuse stability with our achievements in life- firstly we confuse it with good grades in schools and colleges secondly with our dream job, dream partner, dream house, car, kids and list goes on and on. While we celebrate outer achievements (and you should because we all live for recognition as it sometimes uplifts our inner consciousness) with our friends and family constantly reminding them and ourselves of the fact that we are stable and many of us thrive on the celebration of the fact that our efforts and achievements are acknowledged and recognized (which gives a great sense of stability from time to time) by the people who are important to us and we should that is the way of life or so we would like to think. We may all be different but we all share the same fundamental desire of being validated by ourselves and by our loved ones because that is what we sometime live for and adds weight to our very existence but then what resists us from embracing it fully ?!; why we still tend to develop the feelings of drifting and crumbling apart from all this and shunning everything or whatever little we have achieved in our life or are in the pursuit of achieving and Why for once we want to thrive on complexities and obscurities of stability unknown to our outer self? because you have to have one hell of a luck and fortune if you have never felt this way but for some people who belong to a parallel society no amount of outer validation can make them feel fulfilled and stable if it is not coming from the real deal and fight that’s happening within and inside. While some of us choose to turn a blind eye to this nagging feeling; some of us actually like to question- WHY? Why do we feel this way? Why something we worked so hard for and burnt midnight oil for seems like a thing we never wanted in the first place and no longer defines our existence and who we are? Why our insides keep yearning for psychological stability? Is there something called psychological stability? And if it is there then why can we not find it or is it just a figment or are we too blind to even see it in our day to day life? And we are playing along with it or being played by the hands of it? what is it that some of us abstain our insides from squeezing happiness from our outsides and feeling content. Is it because some of us have muddled insides, suppressed emotions and are too scared to feel truly happy or do we think too much happiness is ephemeral so it only deserves cursory attention from our conscious mind and on sub-conscious level real happiness/stability is yet to come once the contention is over between conscious and sub-conscious but at the same time they co-exist or have we become too cynical and feel the overwhelming pressure of keeping ourselves happy by ourselves no matter how. Can some of us ever really find true and real stability. So many questions and very few answers to figure out the true essence of being stable. As I sit here in my room and type these words I realize I have never had a closer look at my stability maybe because I was scared to find one for myself or maybe because I don’t want one as I feel stability is not about finding your center and ground to build your life on and brag about it ; it is a work in progress for few of us and all of us (those who have found stability and those who haven’t). some of us are born to feel the naivety of stability in un-stability no matter what we do and achieve because that’s how we grow and gain wisdom by not making a sad and meaningless deal out of it but by accepting the fact that this is who we are and the very foundation of our existence — OBSCURITY and COMPLEXITY.
These are my personal opinions and observations I have gained and experienced in my life and bears no co-relation of any sort to people who may think or like to think otherwise. We all live in a world full of opinions and you are welcome to have yours.
