The Question I Hate to Answer
Ellen Lindner
2.4K24

Great set of comics to describe that really annoying and nosy social habit of asking people about their personal reproductive choices.

As someone who knew since she was a kid she never wanted kids (and also knew I would be a really bad parent, for many reasons), I’ve actually been rather lucky in not being on the receiving end of most of the “breeder bingo” questions and statements most other CFBC women have. Probably a big reason for that is because I was only married for 1 1/2 years in my mid-20’s, and single/divorced women probably don’t get hassled about it as much as married couples do. It’s still annoying that such questions are still even asked.

Like you, I’ve had friendships end when a pregnancy happened; I simply cannot pretend to be interested in hearing about/seeing pictures of babies and children. Women preoccupied with their kids are simply uninteresting to be around after their identity becomes “mom”, so it makes sense that they gravitate towards other moms who can relate to them.

My life has been fulfilling and well-lived without children; I’ve had the freedom to have a (albeit brief) medical career and move where and when I needed to without all the financial and other baggage kids — and being a single mom- would have imparted. I’m now 52 years old, and 2 1/2 years ago, I was finally able to have a hysterectomy, thus adding the freedom and finality of never being able to reproduce — it was the single best thing that has happened in my adult life, health-wise. My partner of 13 years never wanted kids, either, so we enjoy lots of hobbies and life-enriching pursuits together and separately.

With almost 7.5 billion human beings on the planet, we don’t need more. I applaud and respect anyone who has made the responsible choice to not add to our over-populated planet. Quite frankly, I feel that one of my best contributions to society is NOT reproducing…and I also am glad that my family line and genes die out when my sister and I do. Like me, she had absolutely no business breeding either, and thankfully, she didn’t.

So, kudos to you for your choice to not have kids, and I’m sorry you have still having to even deal with people who can’t mind their own business.

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