Faith, Focus, Love & Chocolate are my remedies.
Honestly, I did not see this one coming at all. Usually I am pretty good on having A, B, C, D, E plans in case anything falls out on the way. This time I did not. I was off guard, it hit me in the face, I am still scatterbrained. I had everything planned expect this plan. I was clearly envisioning taking the maximum advantage of my Stanford Visiting Scholar opportunity, doing yoga every morning, biking to Bart, reading in the bus, writing at my Stanford desk, cooking for all of us in the evening and writing my journal before bed. I was going to take advantage of the gift of my sister being an amazing beauty therapist to get spoiled. I address my fears of success. I reached out to some beloved mentors in the community to support this process. I thought I had it all planned, I was mistaken. There was the option of her not boarding on the plane and it happened. It’s been a weird 2 days, between the struggle to figure it and the divine love.
I am guided. Allah is the best of Planners this is why I am surrendering to the divine plan. I will not let fear control me. I will access all available remedies. I have no control over any plans and I am strengthen by this surrender. Astral forces are working for us preparing this magnificent black moon for the first day of new islamic year 1438. I am reading about the cleansing rituals to perform for this time and on how to prepare to welcome Muharam.
This morning I woke up focused on my end goal of finishing writing my PhD by December 28th 2016. Sirat & I teamed up to deep cleaned the house. I make cleaning fun for both of us by putting loud salsa music and adding some dancing, we love doing this together. I sat and wrote my todo list for the day. Checked my calendar for the week with events and meetings planned. I was set to start on October 1st, on the black moon, the new year. I was set to start with the support of my sister but these days many of us can’t take for granted boarding on a plane. It’s all good. This game will come to an end sooner or later. It has been said and we are resilient.
As far as I am concerned, I am resilient AND loved. Yes, haters can hate I am surrounded by daily support from my husband and my baby as well as a whole tribe of fierce global warrior mamas. Most of us have been in the same boat lately, stretched between motherhood and life goals. We barely find time to go on a spa date or to treat ourselves for dinner. We dream of the day we will have just time to create freely without interruption, who knows even maybe going on a vacation by ourselves. We all feel the struggle and the blessings. Yet, my tribe selfless supported me and called in immediately to set playdates, laughter over the phone, prayers, money, prepared food, writing motivation or anything I need. This is the best feeling. As I am writing this I am already feeling much stronger. I feel grateful for you all beautiful souls from Oakland, Long Beach, Kuala Lumpur, Paris, London, Bogota, Noumea, Montreal or Doha. I love you immensely.
This is when the chocolate shows up. When love is everywhere and care is real. Your hommie knows you need that chocolate ice cream to sweeten your mouth so you wouldn’t curse on that officers who made up that story about my sister’s passport being declared stolen and denied her boarding. I am grateful. I am resilient and resourceful. I will figure it out, like I always do and I will finish writing my PhD by december 28th 2016.