A Petition to be Part of the United Kingdom

We live in an ordinary country. Through all major international rankings that rank countries by wealth, human development and other auspicious indices we stand somewhere around 100 to 130th places. Majority of our citizens hold passports that gain us entry into few dozen countries without the bureaucracy of visa applications. Our population is small, around 3–5 million-ish. We have universal health suffrage, yet most of our well-off choose to go somewhere abroad for medical treatments. Those not so fortunate enough await their deaths on the beds of the national health system. The land on which we live is rumoured to have lots of mineral resources, a wealth so vast that it can supposedly make millionaires not only the entire current generation, but their children and grandchildren to come. But it has not realised just yet.

We hear there are group of people in Scotland who want to break apart from the union that makes United Kingdom and go independent. Whatever their motives and aspirations are, we wish them good luck. However, if their wish is realised and Scotland becomes independent, the United Kingdom will have one free space to fill its quota so as to remain former united kingdom. Using this opportunity, we would like to petition the people of the rest of the UK to consider including us in the union. We promise to love you forever and ever more. You can be rest assured that the union it will produce will stay unbroken for hundreds of years. We will not wage pro-independence campaigns every other decade. For what you do to improve our systems and infrastructure, we will willingly share our resources with you (and we won’t make a big fuss about it either). For the nuclear weapons and security guarantees that the union will provide, we will willingly go to war with any other elements that threaten our societies. And even if we go to war, so as to secure our ways of lives, we won’t use it as a lame excuse for break-up. Though we have a rich history and culture, we will not have nationalistic sentiments. We know that nationalistic passions sound well after two pints of lager, but have no place in the daily practical dealings of our lives.

Please, once again, consider us as a potential member of the union. We promise we will not let you down.

Yours kindly,

Candidate country for the United Kingdom

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