CHANGE STARTS WITH YOU | Others will follow your lead…
After years of trying to “fix” people, I’ve had to surrender. *raises white flag* – I can’t change ANYONE. I can only change MYSELF!
So much change in relationships (romantic, friendships, family, work) comes from each INDIVIDUAL taking a step back and looking at THEMSELVES, choosing NOT to blame the other for their hardship, but rather being humbled and mature enough to realise that we’re all flawed and could’ve handled situations better… and in fact, could just BE better.
So pray that God changes YOUR heart. Pray that he convicts you. Pray that he helps you and teaches you how to lead by example. Be quick to help each other – we all struggle and slack. We all need a little help, rather than an attack for our faults, which funnily enough usually come from people who actually struggle with the same thing they HATE, or could just do with a heart check, much like ourselves. It’s not fair to sit back on your imaginary pedistool and tell others how they should change, from afar. Get stuck in, be practical and proactive and most importantly, DEMONSTRATE it! Set the example that you want others to follow, so that your righteous living will be so evident, it’ll inspire others towards change. Set the standard – YOU DON’T ALWAYS HAVE TO BITE BACK! You don’t always have to have the last word! You don’t always have to CHOOSE to get offended. You don’t always have to defend yourself. You don’t always have to PROVE yourself.
You don’t even always have to retaliate to rudeness, out of the fear you’ll seem “weak”. You’d be surprised how the relationships that used to breed tension start to transform – it genuinely takes ONE person to implement change, so why not let it start with YOU? I can personally vouch that relationships around me have utterly transformed since lockdown – relationships with my family. It took an INTENTIONAL and COMMITTED decision to CHOOSE to change myself and how I respond, because I wasted years holding onto the assumption that people around me would change, because duh, why wouldn’t they? I had to let that illusion go. You can’t sit around and expect others to change – you’ll spend a painfully long time waiting, I’m afraid. You get frustrated and if anything grow more bitter when you realise some of them have no desire to change at all. I was getting tired of tense relationships, often resulting in beef.
I chose to let God SHAKE UP MY HEART, quiet me down, hold my tongue, soften my hardened heart & give me the right words to say to those around me. It CHANGED EVERYTHING. Choosing actively to not take offence, to pick my battles, to try and see the BEST in people (again, to not take offence if they’re having an “off” day.) Choosing to pour time into people, show an interest in their lives, not jump to conclusions, not pipe up at the first petty squabble. My heart feels FREE. I genuinely feel BETTER. I’m reconnecting with people all over, I’m learning to love in different ways, and let me tell ya – learning to LOVE THE UNLOVABLE is the epitome of God doing his work in ya! To love those who easily love you back, is a piece of cake. Where’s the challenge? Loving those and being patient with those who make your blood boil – now THAT’S Jesus, working in me, through and through. Change starts with YOU!
P.s…
People will face the consequences for their nonsense anyway – remember, we are NOT their judges; God has the final say. Some may find that “trouble” seems to follow them… I wonder why? HHMM. Sit tight; focus on YOUR heart. Love like you’ve never been hurt before & people will eventually respond accordingly… be patient friends.
- Your soul sista 💕
