A Contemporary Method for Discovering Your Soul Mate
. The idea that everyone has a soul mate can give rise to irrational expectations.
. The world is full of people who have the potential to be your soul mate.
. Instead of focusing on outside or surface-level considerations, connect with your soul’s wishes for a mate.
The idea that everyone has a soul mate can give rise to irrational expectations.
Your mission is to locate the one person who is your soul match.
Even while the concept of a soul mate sounds romantic, keep in mind that there are a lot of people in the world. People have come to expect their partner to be their everything, even when this is not realistically possible or desirable. An experienced matchmaker in Los Angeles that I spoke with once told me that clients arrive with an absurdly large list of requirements.
Status-related statements like “I can’t possibly date anyone from my own religion or race” or “I’m looking for a Persian man at least 10 years older than me” are examples of this. Some people have geographic preferences and will only date people who reside in their community. Individuals seek to identify their soul mate as if they’re at a salad bar — a little of this ingredient, a little of that topping, dressing on the side.
It’s one thing to be clear about your desires, but it’s likely to leave you disappointed to expect to “find the one” like a salad bar full of unique toppings.
The world is full of people who have the potential to be your soul mate.
I’ve heard dating coaches rave that if you make a very specific list of your preferences from a potential partner, you’ll eventually find the one. A list like that, in my opinion, can lead to frustration since it ignores real people and their own quirks, different tastes, and potential to surprise you.
First, acknowledge that you might be matched with multiple soul mates. which is fortunate! Someone who is able to connect with you intimately and authentically, as opposed to only superficially or transactionally, is what I mean when I say “soul mate.”
Secondly, search for someone internally instead than focusing only on outside influences. Think about their energising effect on you, whether they make you giggle, and whether they provide you with challenges that advance your development. Rather than thinking on the future or what you can “get” from them, concentrate on savouring their company in the here and now.
Thirdly, think about how intimately you are a part of your own soul, of your actual self. Finding the proper person for you will be more difficult if you’ve lost touch with who you are.
The Changing Landscape of Relationships: Embracing Companionship Over Long-Term Commitments
In any case, not many people choose to look for soul mates these days, much less long-term relationships. In 1950, seventy-eight percent of Americans were married, while in 2014, over fifty percent of people self-identified as single. People are becoming less interested in long-term partnerships or even marriage.1. They don’t want to bother with the institution of marriage or the purported assurance of finding their soul mate; instead, they prefer the pleasures of sex and friendship, whether it be from a live-in partner or a friend with benefits.
It is possible to enjoy the delights of emotional or physical closeness from a variety of ties and commitments, therefore look past the more archaic traditional notions. A wonderful connection cannot be modelled in a single way, and the existing models require adjustment. I’ll talk about the misconception that you should always put others’ needs ahead of your own in a romantic or sexual setting in my next and last piece in this series. I also share some advice on how to view your relationships as a spiritual journey that will lead to greater understanding and fulfilment.
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