Notes To A First Time Caregiver (Vol. 1.1): Chasing Privacy

This morning I woke up about 8am (late for me) and by 8:30am I had a load of laundry in the washing machine, I was sorting my mothers meds and herbs, and I was honestly taking precious time for self. I always get up around 7am really just to have time to myself. I used to feel guilty about it and then I stopped, instead I yearned for my mother to sleep in so I wouldn’t hear my name called nor would incessant requests for food or questions on when this would happen or why that hadn’t happened.

I had to tell the caregiver how difficult it is for me when someone is in my house. So most times I am rushing to get out of the house not to scramble to get to work but to use work or somewhere outside my house as an escape of at times the constant flow of others in and out of the house for mother. Nothing can ever really prepare a single woman in her 30s with a life to adjust to that. I have been asked all the time, how you are going to have a dating life taking care of your mom? I just don’t know…nor will anyone be able to tell you the best way. You just figure it out.

The crave for alone time began when home health started for my mom when she first moved in. The phone rang off the hook from last minute therapist, the caregiver, doctors, specialists, and then my mom. Your name, your thoughts, your decisions, and your response will always be needed not just for you but for another person who once may have done all this for you but now is looking at you as their salvation. The desire to alone time, privacy, and not being responsible for anyone but your self is very real. As such, over time I enjoyed my own company over and over again and always seemed to owe calls to a list of friends because I try to hold so dear to my own time. Its hard when you are always needed by everyone. So get ready for the chase that many many many will never warn you about when you step into that life changing role…

~~~ Soul