Dealing with People
Do you often find yourself feeling misunderstood? Do you also feel that people sometimes behave foolishly and then blame you for their foolishness?
Recently, I noticed the frequency of these things getting up on my nerves and I started to try out ways in which I can deal with people better and so far, I have seen a great improvement in my mood and also, I focus on my work better. Let’s see how we can cope up with people and get ourselves a little peace of mind while we are around them.
I read a lot and tried to understand the psychology behind human behavior but all I could conclude is people are complicated creatures. Each one works different but they all have one thing in common, As happy and lively as they can make their surroundings, they have even more capacity to ruin it.
There is a quote by a very famous person, I cannot recall his name now, but what he said was, “A rat will never build a rat trap but humans made bomb!” Read that sentence again and see the irony, this is so true. Its people who pull each other down and we drag down all the other creatures with us.
So the point of the post is not to curse people but try to understand them. Sounds good, right? But, why do we have to understand them anyway? Why does it matter so much to us about what people think and do? Until obviously it does really concern us! Like you possibly cannot come to me with a knife in your hand and say it doesn’t concern me!
The fact that we are constantly looking at people and expecting them to behave is very.. umm.. peoplish? or self harming or restricting. We are constantly so much worried about others that we don’t have enough time for ourselves. We have our own problems to deal with but no! we will rather curse the government for not giving us facilities so we could think about ourselves in a better way? This doesn’t make sense! This is exactly the problem here. This doesn’t mean that you cannot have a political or any kind of opinion, obviously you can, but what is the point if that opinion triggers you and make you force your views? What is the point of having such strong belief in something that it triggers you rather than giving you peace? You cannot force people anyway. Have an opinion but agree to disagree, there are always more sides to a story.
In present scenario,inclusion of digital media and social platforms have so far only made this worse, now we constantly see millions of people around the world posting about their life and we make it our business but that’s all going to Mark Zukerberg, that is his brilliant business and not ours! NO, It doesn’t mean we should deactivate our accounts, rather try to not loose ourselves in it and put screen time in that little phone of ours, follow better pages, businessess, ideas, artists, etc. there are a lot of people who will genuinely be blessed if we do a little responsible scrolling in our feeds. So,we need to treat our time like our money and invest it wisely.
Now, what about people you’re constantly hanging out with? People that are around us? Partner, friends, family, relatives, boss, colleagues, etc. they affect us too. Now we possibly cannot just follow- unfollow here. So, what do we do? We cannot shut these people, they matter to us. We can only mind our business, do things only when we want to do it and not just for the sake of other person. For example, my mom wants me to prepare lunch but I don’t want to do it. Now, if I prepare lunch for her sake, I’ll be little irritated definitely be in a bad mood and that is gonna affect me for quite long OR I can dive little deeper here and convince myself that I am preparing lunch for me and not my mom. How? See, if I don’t prepare lunch, I will be happy that time but I am gonna feel guilty later, mom’s gonna be a little irritated, which will again, affect me. It will consume my mind for rest of the day where as preparing lunch will just take about 1–2 hours. Basically, it’s a win-win if I just do it and get it over with. I have rest of the day by myself and as a bonus I can tell mom to not disturb me and she will gladly accept it! She will understand me better if I try to understand her situation first. If you think clearly enough, this pretty much works with every other relationship as well. The point to remember here is, is that thing really worthy of your peace? We cannot shut these people who are close to us, moreover, it’s the task, view or idea at hand that’s causing us problem. Again, ask yourself can’t you deal with a little thing like that? Is it worthy of so much of your energy? Nah! you’re better off by yourself.
We need to give ourselves a little bit time so that we’re clear with what we want and set our priorities straight. Easiest way for me to do this is by meditating but you can find your ways like spending some time all by yourself or do something for yourself.
This was a very humble attempt, to tell you that, you’re people, people treat you as you treat them. Your behavior, thoughts and attitude give people way to treat you accordingly. Think highly of yourself, behave highly and you’ll be treated highly.
I am hoping this was a little insightful. Meanwhile, I will deal with some other problem, if dealt with, will write about my experience. Until next time :)
