My back ached as I walked with John at a long days end.
John Gunderson
11

Excellent feedback John, I’m not writing at that level, as yet. I need to get deeper into the sights and emotions of his world — the back breaking labor, the uncertainty, the fear of survival. My research has started. But maybe I can progress in the meantime on style. You’ve demonstrated the power of better word choice, like your passage I highlighted. “Show, don’t tell” they say. More often, I am telling. Will be working on all this. Appreciate the input.

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