The Power of Black Love
Timeless
“What is wrong with this generation?”
“Why doesn’t this generation have any morals or values?”
“I miss the 90s, it was such a great time to experience black love!”
I can agree that dating nowadays is not how it “used to be”. Love hasn’t changed and black love still stands strong. However, the problems they faced back in the “good ole days” are still the same. Nowadays, people consider Netflix and Chilling and casual sex a solid relationship. Yes, there is no doubt that this generation needs major work. We have definitely lowered our standards over time. Reality TV shows, explicit music videos, and social media are allowing us to discredit black love. These toxic factors have tried to rewrite the narrative about black love in this generation.
Along the way, we’ve lost the innocence in dating and being in love. You can’t even get a guy to take you out on a date anymore! I blame the generations before, they have let us down and haven’t always set the right examples. If the “good ole days” were as good as everyone makes them seem. Then why aren’t we feeling that love and setting the right examples decades later? How come the children and the grandchildren that make this generation now aren’t exhibiting healthy relationships. We need to start fixing our relationships in the black community, and we need to start giving black love more credit. When I think of black love I think of more than just aromantic relationship. Black love is the protection from a black mother over her babies. Black love is the assurance between a black daughter and father. Black love continues to prevail and is a timeless essence. Black love has never gone away, it is just harder to find in the midst of toxic reality shows, degrading song lyrics and troublesome social media posts.
Love is Persistent
Generations before have fought to have to right to vote, the right to live and to love. White supremacy has tried to kill the notion of black love since the beginning of time. Ripping apart families from the motherland then again here. They sold our fathers, brothers, mothers, and daughters to different plantations and tried to erase our lineage. They hung our fathers and sons for the fun of it. Destroyed our communities with drugs and with the notion that Black men were dangerous and incapable of taking care of our own. We still prevailed. We held each other down during the with the Civil Rights Movement and demanded change with the Black Panther party.
We love our families hard and we value loyalty. We prevailed over time, but the pain we carried with us generation to generation still impacts us today. So the real question is if we prevailed through all these obstacles together, why aren’t we living up to our ancestors’ expectations? Intergenerational trauma is showing its true colors in today’s society. The pains of our ancestors are still felt to this day, and living in a white patriarchal society isn’t making it any better. It feels like the system is always working against us. Broken relationships with mothers, deadbeat fathers, gun violence and an unjust criminal justice system are all things we need to fix and overcome. We can still feel the repercussions of intergenerational trauma but it is up to us if we will allow
it to destroy us or make us stronger.
Black love has prevailed and will continue to be the strongest love there is. Don’t get me wrong, all love is beautiful, but there’s something about black love that makes you watch in admiration. It doesn’t matter who you date, as long as your significant other loves your blackness and understands the prejudice challenges that comes with it. Black love to me is…
Black love is black children. Raising the youth and setting the right examples that our ancestors hold us to. Allowing them to feel like they are good enough in this eurocentric society.
Black love is forgiveness. It is holding each other accountable for our mistakes and allowing ourselves to make them.
Black love is unlimited. Black love knows hurt but it always heals. It is always there because it never dies. Black love cannot be demolished or scared away. Black love doesn’t compromise, it adapts and grows during tough times.
What we need is more black filmmakers and black screenwriters. We need more black family sitcoms, comforting love songs and black movies! That is what we miss about the 90s, the movies and shows like Different World, Moneisha, The Best Man, Love Jones, Boyz in The Hood and The Parkers to exhibit black love again and take away this poison of reality tv and vulgar rap lyrics. Recently released movies like The Hate You Give and The Black Panther are movies that address issues in the black community by putting them on the big screen for everyone to see. These movies are the right steps in the right direction to reintroducing black cinema. By being able to address and identify issues in the black community we can start to heal our relationships and strengthen our love in the community.
Iyanla Vanzant is a spiritual teacher, author, lawyer, motivational speaker, and life coach. She has helped repair broken relationships and strong black love with one family at a time on her show Iyanla: Fix my life. She is a spiritual healer in the black community and is helping amend the broken unspoken pieces in this generation. On her show, she has addressed sexual assault, broken relationships, and trauma. The show is helpful because she provides effective solutions on how we can handle these obstacles. This show has served as a model for millions of black families worldwide on how to strength black love.
The strength of black love will always be timeless. We have endured so much trauma as a race, and we still continue to prevail! No matter how we are portrayed on reality TV, and explicit song lyrics. In order to continue to rise we have to hold each other accountable! We have to love our youth, stop the violence and stand up for each. I love my blackness and yours and that alone is the purest form of black love.