You never realize you have a smoking problem until the snow melts

Illustration by Nik Brovkin (

The snow shines of a million excuses not to leave the bed

You’re in my sheets chain smoking to piss off the smoke detector

Your eyes shine of a million excuses not to leave bad habits behind

And by that I mean me not the cigarettes you pile up in a Brugal bottle you finished in one sitting

You watch contouring tutorials on youtube to have something to complain about

I watch you watch them for the same reason

Two naked bodies have rarely had so much to hide from each other

And quite frankly from themselves

The white flag to our relationship on your back

A borrowed button up

Whiteness of your symbolic resignation

I couldn’t complain

I was no longer a size XL anyway

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