Men Dump Their Anger Into Women
Emma Lindsay

Speaking as a trans woman, one of the first things I noticed as I started my transition was how shockingly emotionally coddled men are. Fortunately, when I still (nominally) identified as a straight man, I was usually better than most at processing my emotions*, and even when I couldn’t, I tended to direct the resulting negativity inwards as depression and self-pity then outwards as anger (though I still cringe at the amount of emotional labor I no doubt subjected my female friends to as they tried to talk me through my angst). Of course, since I started living as a woman, I’ve rapidly become hyper-sensitive to the emotional environment around me- which can definitely be wearing- but at the same time, I think a lot of men could benefit from a bit more of that sort of awareness.

(Also, on a more positive note, one of the things I love most about being a girl is that I feel like I can actually *talk* to people now, even if it’s about what we’re struggling with. As a man, that sort of thing was something that Was Not Discussed amongst my male friends, and I remember being immensely frustrated by that fact. One of the formative moments of me realizing that I Was Not Like The Other Boys was in high school, when a girl I had been seriously infatuated with broke up with me after a few months of dating. I was devastated, but when I brought up the situation to my guy friends, the response was literally “Hey, you’re free now”, and completely dropping the subject).

*Something something lesbian stereotype

Like what you read? Give Tessa Fisher a round of applause.

From a quick cheer to a standing ovation, clap to show how much you enjoyed this story.