I’ve been there, John. August 1998 I woke up alive and had no idea what the hell to do about it since I was NOT planning on seeing my 27th birthday in November that year.
Take it one day at a time and talk to people. Part of the oddity you feel is that you now, like me back then, have just had your deepest pain and most vulnerable breaking point revealed to the world. That’s a scary thing, but you’re alive to deal with it and learn to live with it and move forward.