Ordered a pizza online. The service calls me to confirm everything. At some point I get lost, because the girl speaks quite fast. I ask her to speak more slowly.

She responds: “English?”
With the type of joy that only comes when offered the opportunity to take the lazy way out, I exclaimed: “Yes, English please.”
To which the girl replied in Russian that she unfortunately doesn’t speak it. “До свидания!” (goodbye) and immediately hung up.

After a few minutes of pizza uncertainty, I was called again. Somehow, somewhere, they found one of the few people in Moscow actually capable of speaking slowly. No English needed.

Pizza success!