there are a couple of those out there. i’ve seen them on facebook, for sure. “are you an introvert or an extrovert?” you know what i’m talking about, right? and just the other day, i was asking my friend what was the difference between the two because she said described herself as an extrovert. and in the pursuit of knowing which camp i belonged in, she asked me the following question: do you feel energized after meeting people? if you do, you are extrovert, and if it left me feeling drained, then i am an introvert. and i answered, maybe i’m an introvert…because i can get terribly uncomfortable in some social situations. or maybe i’m half and half.

well today, i was at this event, a social setting, if you will…it was a room filled with people, some i knew and some i didn’t know. but in the process of just standing there, i made new friends and said hello to old ones and was pretty deep in conversation with one or two of them. however, i did felt socially awkward, with most of my time being spent on trying to figure out what i should be doing with my hands. but overall i felt okay. and i was thinking, what the hell am i? not that it matters. but it’ll be good to know, i guess. introvert? extrovert? because i guess i was doing okay…felt fine, not at all “drained out”. So the event eventually ended and i went on my way. i still felt okay.

and then on the bus back home, i started thinking about all that was said and i started analyzing every hello, every good bye, every hand that i shook (or didn’t shake) and every conversation i had with someone within the past couple of hours.

“was i too rude?”
“i hope that person didn’t misunderstand me when i said that.”
“oh shit. she probably thought i was weird when i asked her that question. she’ll never talk to me again.”

and then it hit me. the exhaustion. i was pretty drained out by the time i got back.

so i guess that’s it then.

i’m just an asshole.

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