Junkie fashion zombies trapped in a crack house -Part 2

Every time I come back to visit the states, it’s always mind blowing to witness everyone stuffing their faces with the richest of foods, stuffing their minds with the most sour of values, stuffing their eyes and ears with the most evil of advertising/media/social media and stuffing their houses with the most petty of things while stuffing their garages with everything they bought last month.

Our culture, our media, our fashion, our work, our technology our everything is a crack house influencing us and controlling the chemicals in our bodies that cycle us through this zombie state of existence.

It’s amazing to see so many of us, completely oblivious and caught up in the same cycle as the Detroit hooker in 1979 that gave me a lolly-pop and consequentially the biggest smile of my life at the ripe age of 7 years old.

You see, the Detroit hooker’s profession provides an endless stream of short-term boosts of self-esteem every time some douche would not only give her some lov’n, but then pay for it too. Every single transaction whispered to her unconscious, “You are of value to this world, you can be loved and your precious decision to sell your magical vagina is okay…”

It’s a vicious cycle for her and omni-present in all facets of modern, first world living. From women prancing around in an ensemble of designer fashion cues to the hipster who raves about his uber-organic-artisan-gluten free berry granola bar to lift himself up on a pedestal of higher moral ground to feel superior over others.

Or what about the moment and act of checking to see how many likes the selfie picture we posted at the beach earned?

Or myself sharing these exact thoughts on Medium, did I get a new follower? Did someone recommend it?

We all are junkies to the easy quick hits of self-esteem boosters our environment so poetically camouflages and effortlessly provides. As a result, we are all walking around like fashion zombies, in a giant crack house, oblivious to just how bad our addiction really is.

The crack house is our environment/culture.

The crack pipe is our careless interaction with the world.

The drug is love (oxytocin).

And the high is a quick boost of self-esteem.

We’re high on oxytocin, oblivious to everything around us permeating into our subconscious, lost, unfulfilled, faking it along the way and never our true beautiful awkward self as tragic as we may feel that truly is.

As long as we live the junkie fashion zombie lifestyle we will never have the courage to be 100% the real deal nor experience the joy and exhilaration of being alive can truly be.

Every bit of media and consumption is programming us, shaming us, comparing us, invoking emotions in us, skewing our reality that results in fear to be our true selves as longing to be someone or something else…and to deal with that, we need self esteem boosters, oxytocin…the crack of all time.

The only way out is to change our environment to our personal favor. Hence why I’ve been living in Nicaragua for 7 years, no TV since 1998 and pretty damn disagreeable with everyone here in the states because of it.

I’ve deprogrammed myself…and because of that, I love myself…most of the time.

If we are to practice the self-love to shamelessly show-up as ourselves, endure every moment of our self evolution AND the world around us, we have to get out of the crack house, smash the crack pipe against the walls of our culture and let the cards fall where they may (Tyler Durden style).

Boosting Self-Esteem through consumption and approval seeking is supplementing a little love from the world because we don’t love ourselves. It’s a double edge sword because as we supplement more and more, we love ourselves less and less.

What happens when someone gives us a compliment or notices anything special about ourselves?

It’s a little love.

Or when we share our successes with others and they hooh and awe about it?

or 28 recommends on a Medium post?

It’s a little love via 28 digital pats on the back that make us feel good, more sure of our actions, choices, we receive approval, validation and that’s simply a public circle jerk George Carlin style.

But self-love and love for another is simply the chemistry in our brains.

It’s well-documented, that the love/bond chemical oxytocin is released in large doses during pregnancy and immediately after a woman gives birth. When the mother holds the child (touch), the mother “feels” a deep love for the child…a bond that will not only prevent abandonment, but also ensure she cares for the child enough to ensure survival. However, most women are oblivious to the fact that their own body, releases a drug that makes them feel love for their child.

Think about all those times you stood there dazed and confused at how a mother is completely clueless, calling her very ugly baby beautiful.

That’s the power of oxytocin. The truth is, that baby is ugly, its loud, cries all the time, constantly needs attention, wakes everyone up in the middle of the night, is the neediest thing one has ever experienced in their life…the biggest pain in the ass, EVER…but to the mother, it’s beautiful, sweet, smart…an angel and the center of her universe.

Ladies and gentleman, that is 100% oxytocin in action and part of the equation that explains why so many fathers struggle to deal with the challenges of raising an infant baby.

Oxytocin is also released in doses strong enough after a woman orgasms so as to create a bond with the male, thus explaining the trends of many women becoming attached after just one sexual exploit while men seem unfazed. Oxytocin is arguably more powerful than crack and cause of a whole lot more psychopathic behavior.

Another fun insight is its presence in males that let all their women down by busting their nut too soon…why? Because their oxytocin level is high.

*Well guess what chemical is released in much smaller doses every time a person interacts with social media for 15 minutes or more? Yep, oxytocin…the love chemical. So much Oxytocin is released in our brains after 15 minutes of social media that it is equivalent to the hormonal spike experienced by a groom at his wedding.


It’s bad enough, for just a little love’n, we consume and signal to the world for approval from others, but now we are connected in such a way that it’s available instantly through social media and on demand.

The crack pipe is literally in our pockets everywhere we go; we pull out our smartphone and get some love’n, some oxytocin to be exact and hence, boost our self-esteem. Shoot, we can write a blog and posts like this and keep that lov’n com’n.

We are junkies, addicts to the chemistry in our brains that invoke us to feel temporarily okay with our lives, ourselves and the world we live in which is the reason for standing alone staring at our phone looking for approval from others to push out the true uncomfortable existence of being our awkward selves.

Alright then, that’s the totality of our culture and situation. We live in a crack house. The crack house provides wonderful opportunities for us to buy, sell, write, read or post something to boost our self-esteem, we get a little love from social media and we can’t leave the crack house…it’s impossible to escape…We all can’t do what I did, sell it all, wander the earth and find a place that fits. We have to live where we live, work we work and exist where we exist.

Or do we? The big lesson here is that it took me a tragic near death accident twenty years ago to tame the fuming anger within, 15 years of career life, 13 knee and shoulder operations, a few amazing people in my life, plenty of books, zero TV and other life experiments to arrive at a place for me to say, “I’m done. I’m going to give it a go…there’s a better way to live”. Then it took another well intended 6 years of hard work and doing the best I can to modify my environment to just get to the point I could leave. I’m privileged for sure, I’m lucky as all hell…I didn’t have to glue seashells together and persuade people to buy them to feed myself; the lesson is that it takes time, sometimes years, sometimes decades of hard work and commitment.

But even with the best intentions to change our environment, we will unavoidably get sucked in and start to chase success as we are programmed to believe it is…our environment tells us we have to be successful, have a career, buy a house, beautiful wife/husband, new car and define our fake selves with everything we buy and surround ourselves with.

Surround ourselves with…that’s right, our environment is what we surround ourselves with…we become what we surround ourselves with.

I never truly believed it until I broke free and lived alone…truly alone in a diametrically opposed world year after year…and what I’m saying is 100% true. I’ve proved it. From friends, loved ones, culture, Sky, ocean to even the god damn pen I use to write with…it’s all strategically vetted and approved to align with my values and beliefs.

Change your environment to align with YOUR beliefs and values and the self-love will start to grow and everything good and sweet starts to follow one savory bread crumb at a time.

So much so, that success, money, marriage…winning, all this stuff we long for fades into the back of our minds and we start pursuing what’s most personally important to us naturally…our thinking, behavior, desires all intrinsically LEAD to self-love, rich experiences with awesome human beings and then love for others, for life, for nature, for community for everything follows.

Just think about this the next time you are about to purchase ANYTHINg or post/view on Facebook, Medium, Instagram or SnapChat; you are basically smoking a crack pipe of oxytocin.

Ask yourself how is it providing a secondary emotional pay-off (boosting self-esteem) in the moment or in the future through the approval of others later?

Only when we exist in a paradigm of like-minded community with low conspicuous consumption, but high creativity, productive work and a way of life that creates long term self-esteem through self love for our own personal reasons will we actually feel a bit of peace of mind and contentment.

Turn DOWN the volume on everything coming from this culture, change your environment, your friends, your everything. Do the hard things that must be done and slowly over time, the oxytocin in your brain will be there from self-love rather from approval seeking and other self-esteem boosters.

What follows is the joy of life, the love for it, the love for people, community and experiences that give you more and more justification to be the black sheep you truly are.

Further Reading

Stop shaking your fists at the world and start shaking them at yourself.

The Lone Wolf and the Puppy Millennial Dog

Believing in God shuts down our brain’s analytical capacity