Read the backs and forths in the Responses and it’s so sad so many men/people taking this the wrong way. For a hetorsexual woman wanting to be in a completing/supportive relationship, you don’t need the ones with potential (even if you have to be alone instead). Forgetting the strain and added variables ‘loser’ female friends bring to the equation, nothing is as draining as being the woman of a man with lots of ideas and a lots of issues and no plan. I’m not even asking for goals, just drive, just focus to get to somewhere. She mentions kids and career success in the ‘winner’ type of guys, I don’t even think it’s as specific as that. It’s so very hard to shake yourself free from anyone (your parents, your friends and your mate) when all you are doing is channeling your potential into saving them. Good write, Christiana!