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on top of everything

this isn’t much of a story honestly, more of a stream of consciousness.

The title of this story is not capitalized, I didn’t find it particularly meaningful or important so I thought it best to leave it lowercase.

Now, for the story. Bundle up, get cozy, get your warm drink of choice and accompanying pastry at the ready. I hope this is a good one.

God, a male idol of inexcusable power and purity, there are a few problems with God, but they are really problems with people. Because, after all, God did not create people, people created God. Not in a literal sense, but the idea of God is nothing more than a societal construct. God is so pivotal in some peoples lives they give him credit for their success. Success is not something which can be given, it must be earned. If there were a god, she would be a female, no doubt. Females have an immeasurable capacity for emotion and intelligence that us males just don’t. So naturally, being the insecure assholes we are, we created God in our image. That of a powerful male.

This is a story about how the idea of god is a really good metaphor for real friends. I had a girlfriend, actually I’ve had a couple of them, but this one was special. She was the closest thing to God I have come close to experiencing. She was the one who could change everything around me in an instant, make me unimaginably happy, or very sad. God is supposed to be an infinitely good being, she checked every box, excluding being all powerful. We broke up after a short stay in heaven, I was devastated but more than that I was numb. The sadness wears off, but the numbing effect of the lack of her in my life left me mentally and emotionally destroyed. If there were a god, how could he allow for such pain and anguish. This is no the will of an infinitely good being, but the cruel reality of the universe. Things happen, choices determine everything, your own choices. Not those of god. This girl and I are still friends, I miss the times we had but a genuinely thankful for her existence still. Too many people die waiting for what will come after death. I prefer to make my own heaven, or in my instance, meet her.

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