Laws are for Other People

Spike Dolomite
May 18 · 4 min read

They’re debating abortion in Missouri. Barry Hovis, a Republican and former cop said, “Most of my rapes are consensual rapes or date rapes after a party. It’s unfortunate but [rape victims] need to live with the consequences of their actions.” In other words, she asked for it. And if she got pregnant, she asked for that, too.

In Oklahoma, Republican George Faught argued that pregnancies that result from rape are gifts from God during a debate on House Bill 1549, which restricts abortion. He used the Bible as a basis for his argument. Rape should be legal because it’s right there in the Bible. Rape is OK if it coincides with my interpretation of my religion so let’s make it a law.

Here comes Texas! The House is advancing a bill banning cities from partnering with Planned Parenthood on any services and a “Born Alive” bill is on its way to the governor’s desk to impose criminal penalties on doctors who fail to treat babies born alive after failed abortion attempts because everybody knows that doctors love killing newborn babies. Trump talks about it all the time.

“How many abortions do you think Trump has paid for? Trick question! Trump doesn’t pay his bills.” — Jeff Tiedrich

Another teenaged boy dumped his teenaged girlfriend in Anytown USA after he found out she was pregnant. He wasn’t treated as a criminal by the state even though he was 50% responsible for the unplanned pregnancy. He can abandon a teenaged girl and leave her to deal with the responsibility of giving birth or going to jail for having an abortion. It’s not his problem.

“Why aren’t we passing legislation making it illegal to get a woman pregnant without written consent and ‘hold harmless’ clauses. If one person causes bodily harm, lost wages, psyc trauma, then they ought to be sued correct? Has any woman tried?” — Kimberly Bolbec

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Farmers in “Real America” are still taking government bailouts but are starting to say they’re not going to vote for Trump again. The never ending proof that he is a racist, a xenophobe, a sexual predator, a cheat, a criminal and traitor doesn’t bother them, it’s only now that his actions affect them and have left them with nothing to do all day and mounting debt that they’re pissed.

Trump is against wind energy because it kills bald eagles and that’s his bird now because he’s the president. He claims that he’s seen piles of dead bald eagles piled up underneath windmills. “You go under a windmill, you see them all over the place. Not a good situation. When the wind doesn’t blow, you don’t watch television that night.”

7 college kids were shot at a house party near Ball State University in Indiana because everybody knows keggers and guns go together.

Trump has been so successful at breaking laws, lying to our faces and defying Congress without consequence that now he’s thinking, what the hell — I’ll lie to a judge about something easily proven as false to see if I can get away with that too. He actually told a judge that Congress did not deny him funding when it declined to appropriate money for his stupid fucking wall.

“To a lawyer, the Mueller report describes multiple felonies by the president and some bad acts that might yet be proven to be crimes. To a historian, it describes the greatest betrayal of the United States since the Civil War, and the greatest by a president in our history.” — David Rothkopf

“The United States of America is under attack by the sitting President of the United States.” — Fernand R. Amandi

Steve Mnuchin blew Congress off yesterday and didn’t deliver Trump’s tax returns by 5 pm. This is how he has conducted himself his entire life. All filthy rich white men do it. Rules and laws are meant to be ignored, broken or twisted. If he gets away with this now, it will be his greatest in your face, fuck you, I’m rich and you can’t touch me achievement.

Republicans want your daughters for breeding, your sons for wars, and you for passively paying their share of taxes.

America is in a fight for itself — against the rich ruling class, the Republicans, and evangelism.

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Spike Dolomite

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.