More On The Moron

Big announcement yesterday — Rex Tillerson called a special press conference. Was it something about North Korea or Russia? No! He called it to publicly proclaim his adoration, loyalty and devotion to our moron of a president. He had to because Trump was really pissed that NBC had published a story about Mike Pence taking Tillerson out to lunch to counsel him on how to kiss up to Trump after Tillerson called Trump a moron and threatened to resign back in July.

The moron tweeted about it right after the press conference ended, on his way to Las Vegas. Instead of rehearsing to pretend to care about people who had been shot, he tweeted about fake news. NBC made the whole thing up and now they owe America an apology. Tillerson did not call me a moron. Fake news!

The moron chose Rex Tillerson for Secretary of State even though he had never met him. All he knew was that he was a successful oil CEO and that he was best friends with Putin. Tillerson really didn’t want to come out of retirement and take the job but his wife told him God wanted him to so he did (plus he wasn’t rich enough — getting the sanctions lifted on Russia would make him an even richer man.)

Puerto Rico was $124 billion in debt before the hurricane. It owes $74 billion to bondholders, and an additional $50 billion in pension obligations to teachers and almost all other government employees. In May, it filed for the largest municipal bankruptcy in U.S. history.

The moron told fake news moron Geraldo Rivera that he was forgiving Puerto Rico’s debt. “This isn’t good for your buddies on Wall Street,” he told Geraldo. Then his budget director, Mick Mulvaney, screamed, “NO! Don’t take him at his word!”

After tweeting about fake news, the moron made an appearance in Las Vegas and told the first responders that he was a big fan. Melania wore black.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: They all call Trump a moron behind his back.

The moron put a ban on Muslims because they’re all terrorists. He wants to build a wall to keep Mexicans out because they’re all rapists, drug dealers and murderers. But white guys who blow crowds of people away with weapons used for war? Pass!

Kellyanne Conway said that Trump inherited a mess. He didn’t but his base believes it because they’re all morons too.

“All morons hate it when you call them a moron” — JD Salinger

“If you behave like a stupid moron, you’re going to get called out by me” — Megyn Kelly

“I think anyone who is famous is a moron if they’re on Twitter. It’s just stupid” — George Clooney

“George Clooney, who is a moron, came here to Cannes and gave a press conference saying, ‘Under no circumstances will Trump ever be president. Hillary Clinton will be the next president.’ Well, we can’t wait to make George Clooney eat his words” — Stephen Bannon

“When a candidate for public office faces the voters he does not face men of sense; he faces a mob of men whose chief distinguishing mark is the fact that they are quite incapable of weighing ideas, or even of comprehending any save the most elemental — men whose whole thinking is done in terms of emotion, and whose dominant emotion is dread of what they cannot understand. So confronted, the candidate must either bark with the pack or be lost… All the odds are on the man who is, intrinsically, the most devious and mediocre — the man who can most adeptly disperse the notion that his mind is a virtual vacuum. The Presidency tends, year by year, to go to such men. As democracy is perfected, the office represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. We move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron” ― H.L. Mencken

Mayor Carmen Yulin Cruz of San Juan, Puerto Rico, wore a t-shirt that said, “NASTY” for a television interview yesterday. She spoke in Spanish.

Trump doesn’t understand a word Carmen says because he is a moron.